A Wardrobe to Live By!

It's a Saturday morning and you are off to meet some friends for lunch! You complete your morning routine, as usual, bun your hair up and head for the closet. As you peel back the rows of clothes that hang in your wardrobe, you instinctively reach for a cute, selfie-appropriate dress! Even though you purchased it a year ago, the tags are still hanging from the collar. You tried it on several times in the store before you bought it and have been keeping it for just the right moment. You begin the process of putting it on, which becomes less than effortless. The bust area is too tight, the zipper won't budge and the waist line seems to squeeze the life out of you! As you stare at your reflection in the mirror, you realize that, despite it's beauty, it just doesn't fit quite right.   "No matter", you think, "It used to fit. Maybe no one will notice" and you walk out the door, in less than perfect style.

Its funny to think about purposefully leaving the house with zippers unzipped or hemlines that are
crooked. I  hope that, in real life, we would never EVER do this to ourselves. Hopefully, we would never purposefully wear clothes that we could not walk, non the less, breathe in. But the truth is, whether we are aware of it or not, spiritually, we are all guilty of wearing things we have out grown, heedless that they are no longer attractive. In our daily living we can put on things that hide the beauty that is ours in Christ. Sure, we might notice a little problem in our attitude here and there or we may recognize that a couple of motives should be checked, but instead of dealing with those concerns, we drape a necklace over it and walk out the door. We can wear attitudes, mindsets and ill gotten intensions, oblivious of how they make us look to those who are watching.

We can mistake unforgiveness as strength, not realizing that the anger we are wearing no longer fits in our life. The person you hope to scold has actually moved on, while you are still in the moment, reliving it every time they come to mind. It's time to fold those feelings away. Human anger cannot produce the goodness of God in your life or in any other situation (James 1:20). Society loves a good feud and, if we listen to what is popular in our world, we might just find ourselves wearing the wrong types of emotions. Instead, God wants us to trade in our anger by putting on kindness and forgiveness. They may not be trendy, but I promise you they will feel good and look great!

Maybe there is a relationship that you are trying to hold onto that just isn't fitting anymore. Every time you try to secure a button, another one just pops off. You give your best efforts, but the stitches continue to unravel. It might be time to place it in the "Goodwill" pile! What won't fit in your life, might be perfect for someone else! As women, I think our eternal flaw is believing that we can hold onto relationships forever, but like a summer dress, relationships are sometimes seasonal- not meant to weather every storm. Sometimes, it's more loving to part as friends, than to split as enemies. Knowing when to let go is a grace in and of itself! You don't want to be caught off guard wearing gloves in the spring or sandals in the snow! Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything and that everything is beautiful in its time! But forcing to keep what God is asking you to let go of will result in catastrophe! The best thing to do, in this case, is to lay those garment...err, relationships, down and ask the Lord for His guidance. He will show you what  you need to do (John 14:26), in a mature and loving manner, as to not rip apart and tear hearts.

Another area we may be outgrowing is in the area of our personal devotion time with God. This is hard to believe, but as we follow Christ, it should result in growth and change, not perpetual behavior. Yes, we have our "go-to" books and our "go-to" sermons; we have our trusty quotes and our comfortable prayers, but what if, as we progress through life, God is asking us to try on bigger shoes or longer britches? We can become complacent in even our worship if we refuse to allow the Holy Spirit to challenge us. It might be time for a wardrobe change: exchanging our sweat shirt and jeans for something more proper. This may be uncomfortable at first, but building our faith by challenging our comfort zones will bring on maturity in our lives so that we can be better positioned to complete the good work that God has purposed for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Sometimes, our usual methods won't produce the spiritual figures that is required for us in the long run. Maybe it's time to box away our conventional attempts of praise and allow our hearts to be lead down untrodden paths that the Lord may be trying to guide us on. High Heels are cute and flats are comfy, but maybe this time, we need to put them away in their boxes and trade them in for some hiking shoes!

As I write to each of you, I am in self reflection. I am looking at my present state in life and I definitely see somethings that I cannot allow myself to wear any more, no matter how much I still enjoy them. It doesn't have to be too small or too big in order for it not to be the best fit. Maybe something fits perfectly, but it's out of season.
I remember, just recently, I walked out the house with sandals and a crop top, unaware that the weather called for a 60% chance of rain. I was bummed and embarrassed. I should have considered the environment before I selected my attire. We can all admit to making a wardrobe flop once in a while. So, what then can we do to be sure that our spiritual clothes are not the wrong size for us or that we are appropriately dressed for the right environment?
In the natural world, a mirror is the best way to check out your reflection, and, to be honest, a mirror is one of my favorite tools to use! I love mine! I have about 4! You can check your face, your hair, your body and your outfits. You can use a mirror to take cute selfies or to fix any problems that you might discover about your reflection. Many of us (and tell the truth) even carry mirrors in our bags! They are a staple in our daily routine. God has also provided  us with His own type of mirror, through His word, so that we can check ourselves before we venture out into the world and  before we engage with other people, so that we can reflect on who we are and who we are called to be and look like. We can use scripture to determine if what we are wearing is inappropriate for us or if it no longer fits. We can use scripture as our mirror to determine if we are looking like Jesus!
According to James, "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do" (James 1:23-25).

That is truly the most embarrassing wardrobe mistake of all... not knowing what you look like! I cringe at the thought of even the smallest bit of lipstick on my teeth or a shirt that has been worn backwards! Ladies, we are GORGEOUS, but if we are not living according to the scriptures, even the most prettiest of us will look foolish. So, my challenge to us all is to use God's words to self reflect this week and every day for that matter! Is this attitude out of date for me? Are these goals I have my heart set on expired and too small for me? What about my prayer life- Does it fit? Is this relationship in or out of season? Let's be sure to pattern our lives, not just our words, according to scripture so that we can reflect God's love in our hearts for others to see! His Love is always trending and it never goes out of style! 

Dress carefully, intentionally and lovingly!

~Pear

The Greatest Commandment

If love is free, then why is it so hard to give? If love is so necessary, then why do we struggle to show it?

During our study of Crazy Love, we are being challenged with questions such as these, but not just in the pages of the book. We are experiencing it in our lives. We are being challenged by unkind co-workers, family members that have hurt us in the past, friendships that have created unfair accusations and relationships that have produced disappointments; sometimes, we even struggle with loving ourselves.

For me, I know that a topic is necessary when not only life produces opportunities to practice the topic, but also when the Holy Spirit presses upon the heart of our ministers to expound even further on the topic. God is moving and flowing in our Bible study and He has allowed situations of life to show up in our midst, to challenge us to not just discuss truth, but to practice and live it out!

Yesterday, apart of the sermon that I received in church expounded on the woman with the alabaster box (Luke 7:47). In these verses of scripture, Jesus exclaims that in order to love much, we must understand how tremendously we have been forgiven. "A person who has been forgiven little shows only a little love". In other words, Love reflects forgiveness. If I feel as if I'm not "that bad", or if I dwell on always being a victim... if I feel as if I've done nothing wrong, if I cannot see past my own circumstances and not accept the reality that ALL HAVE SINNED, then it is difficult for me to show compassion and mercy on others. How can I love those who are imperfect if I do not identify myself with imperfection? Jesus explains that this is not possible.

As Believers in Christ, we must understand that all sin requires forgiveness and that forgiveness is the ultimate act of love. Jesus forgave my sin because of His great love for me, I must forgive others because of my great love for Christ. In his book, Francis Chan goes to explain that loving people can be very difficult, because it goes against our human nature, so we must pray that God equips us with Love for others.

In the Gospels, Jesus declares that the greatest commandment is to Love God with all that we have and all that we are, and then to Love others. Why is this the greatest commandment? It's because is the most difficult and most selfless act of obedience. Loving God and loving others is the most powerful act of dying to self. As Children of God, we must extend great love to others because God has extended such great love to us. This goes hand in hand... when I love God, I can love others, When I love others, I am loving God. If this were easy, it wouldn't be the greatest commandment. But thank God we have a helper... the Holy Spirit, who gives us the strength that we need to accomplish all things, for the glory of God, through His son, Christ Jesus!

Go out and love, my sisters!
~Pearls

Great and Mighty Things

Happy holidays to you all!!! I pray each of you had an amazing Thanksgiving with your loved ones. The Pearls and I enjoyed a friends get together, in addition to our families and enjoyed good food and funny #thanksgivingwithblackfamilies hashtags!
Its always interesting for me to get together with family. Of course, there are those individuals that you keep up with throughout the year, but I especially love getting together with those you don't see so often; especially the children! its amazing to see them grow and change and watch their personalities. For example, one of my younger cousins was just getting into everything! His mother does not eat pork, yet somehow he ended up with some ham on his plate. The whole night, he begged for cookies, and snuck at lest 3 or 4. He was told to settle down, read his book, don't talk with his mouth opened. He was a talkative, rambunctious boy and i loved it! clearly, his mom had her hands full with him. She breathed her fair share of sighs over his activities, but what was so precious is that in spite of his rowdy ways, she was never too tired to give him hugs and the love that all children need. She was there for her son, when he called for her, regardless of his previous incidences. How sweet to know that our God makes himself available to us in the same way!

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and mighty things you do not know. - Jeremiah 33:3

much like my little cousin, spiritually, we are all rumbunctious children. We all get into mischief and sin, exploring what is not necessary for us, trying things that will harm us, hiding the truth out of fear and sometimes, we even hide from God. But it never changes his love for us. We want to believe that Gods presence is some reward for the upstanding and righteous things that we do, yet scripture shows us time and again that God makes himself near to those whose unruly ways are out of control. Consider Moses, the murderer, Jacob, the liar, Rehab, the prostitute and Peter, with his foul mouth! Each of us has sin to over come, struggles to deny and issues to grow from, and in the midst of it all, if we but just call out to God, He wants to answer us and be near to us!

Yes, there are times in our lives when we feel so close to God, when our walk seems blameless and all our prayers are being answered left and right. We feel victorious, we feel God's presence and are aware of His blessings. It's easy to proclaim the faithfulness of God during these times in our lives; it's easy to approach the throne of Grace with boldness...But what about the other times? What about when we are knee deep in regrets and struggles? What about when our shame envelopes us with sorrow and we cannot find the words to pray? What happens when our mistakes seem unending or when life throws unexpected, unplanned problems in our path? Are we not to seek God in these times? Should we not look to heaven? Is there some how a revocation upon our welcome at the throne of Grace?

In Jeremiah 33:3, the Lord speaks to Israel, a nation who is notorious in scripture for their unruly, disobedience and unfaithfulness to God. However, the Lord does not disqualify them from His presence; His does not dismiss them because of their faults. Instead, He invites them to call upon His name. He urges them to approach Him, despite their inadequacies and not only to call on Him, but to expect an answer from Him!!!

God cares about everything we go through. He cares about the flowers and the sparrows, so how much more will He pour out His compassion and love towards us, His children, who are made in His image?! There are great and mighty things in store for you and it is God's will and pleasure to produce them in you! It doesn't matter where you are coming from, what mistakes you have made in the past, or even your current condition. The fact is, God was present even in our sin... yes, even in our mistakes and in our unfaithfulness, His loving kindness and Grace abounds (Romans 5:20). He loves you- every part of you, every experience you go through, every struggle, victory, trial and accomplishment. He wants to love you through it all... just call to Him and He will answer. Put your faith in Him and He will show you marvelous and wonderful things! You are never too far and never too close for God to use and work His amazing love in you!

Be encouraged!
~Pearls

                                   

Being Gomer

What's the first thing you think about when the term "Bible Story" comes to mind? Let's list a few associations: What about Sunday school? Fairy Tale? Moral lessons? God? These are common responses given when a poll was taken in 2009. But there are other associations wrapped up in the Bible as well... What about sex, scandals, lies, cheating or betrayal? Odds are, those weren't on your list!

I must admit that, when going through the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, some of the accounts documented do seem a bit far fetched from the surface. There are worlds created in 6 days, a storm that drowns the whole planet, talking donkeys, Giants, mysterious beings and bread that falls from the sky... Oh my! It certainly does take a leap of true faith to believe and trust in the validity of these accounts, but in between such outlandish records, there are also common stories about unsung heroes, victors and foes who are not very much unlike you or me. They lived, they died and in between, they teach us powerful lessons about life, God, love and the importance of faith. Today, I want to introduce you to a woman named Gomer. You can find her story in the book of Hosea.

How can I describe Gomer in one word? Well, ... She was ratchet. Period. She was a hoe; a "T.H.O.T." and a prostitute! She was a liar and a thief. She sought her self- worth and identity through sex...and lots of it! She would have been the girl on campus that everybody loved to gossip about. She would have been the girl who would party her problems away, only to continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. She lived in a trap of lust and lies, always seeking pleasure and thrills, but never finding true contentment. She tried so hard to change herself. She even entered a marriage with a strong Godly man. His name was Hosea and he loved her...flaws and all. He lived a life that honored God and for a while, it seemed as if her new life with him turned over a new leaf, but the shadows of her past only laid dormant for a little bit. Soon, our Cinderella could no longer ignore the familiarity of her personal ghosts and she soon returned to the sutt and cinders of her dark past- revisiting her old habits and loose lifestyle, despite her marriage and the man who loved her. But Hosea prayed. He loved his wife regardless.

In their marriage, Gomer bore 3 children, but none of the children were conceived with her husband. She would leave her family for weeks at a time, sleeping with this man, carousing with those men, selling herself at one brothel and then the next. She hoped for something better, with someone better and she bought into the lie that sex was her ticket to happiness. She exchanged true love for wild parties and temporary pleasures; for ravishing gifts and empty promises from men who only loved what they could gain from her. She assumed that the company of successful people would gain her the entitlement of the finer things in life that she so desperately craved. But after the wine bottles were empty and the perfume faded from her skin, the men she desired would leave her and she would return home for comfort and care- tired from her wicked ways, broken from yet another disappointment. And each time, it seemed as if she was determined to change...to be the wife and mother that Hosea hoped she would be. But eventually, Gomer would slip back into the night, lured by her selfish ambitions and appetite for more, leaving behind her children with a man who was not their father. Yet, Hosea kept praying.

Eventually, as all fast living does at some point, Gomer found herself in trouble. Not pregnant
trouble, not STD trouble; but true entrapment to the extent that she could not escape on her own. She wound up with the wrong men at the wrong place at the wrong time. She found herself overtaken by their greed and they kidnapped her with intensions of selling her for sexual exploitations. The life she played with had turned on her and captured her. Sex was no longer hers to control, now she was the one who would be controlled by it!
Her captures, waisting no time, produced a public  auction of rare finds and materials the very next morning, with Gomer being the highlighted prize. I wonder the fear she must have felt that day, as her completely naked body stood on a public platform for crowds to examine and gawk at. I wonder what type of words she must have over heard from neighbors in common places: "Serves her right", they might have whispered. "That's what she gets", some may have said.
I wonder if her soul began to quiver and shake, as one man after another reached out to touch her bare flesh, uninvited. I wonder how loudly her heart must have began to beat as people began to wager for her price. What must she have been worth? $300, $900, $1000? I wonder, in the rushing of voices and the clattering of jeers, did the thought of her family flash through her mind? What regret and shame and fear she must have been carrying on that day! Breasts exposed to the sun, hair mangled and messy, hands and feet restrained so that she had no power to defined herself. But what about her heart? How was it effected as she endured this humiliation in broad daylight, over and over again?

It's easy to be turned off from this story. We could dismiss it and claim that this is a very unlikely situation, especially in our modern world. But what about in the spiritual or emotional world? Have you ever found yourself to be humiliated, in one way or another, as a result of not heeding the warnings of those who love you? Have you ever felt in control of a sin, only to discover that it was really just controlling you all along? Have you ever made such a mistake that it went public and the nay-sayers gathered around to laugh and mock you and declare, "That's what she gets"? It's happened to me before, and odds are, it's happened to you as well. We walk around with the pain, anger and shame of our guilt, declaring "no regrets", but sobbing at night because the weight is just too heavy. We can hold our head high through gossiping crowds, while our hearts slump within us from embarrassment and shame. The truth is, we are all like Gomer in one way or another. We have all found ourselves in situations where our choices lead us to entrapment, with no rescuer in sight.

I'm sure, after a few hours of being on public display, even her captures began to get frustrated. "Who will purchase this woman?", they said. "She is lovely and experienced...a true woman of the world! She will keep your bed warm and satisfy your every desire!", they may have shouted to the crowd. "Take a look at her body! See how beautiful it is", as they cupped one of her exposed breasts and then the other... public humiliation! "Which of you men will invest in such a prize?"
I imagine, her eyes closed, as hope disapated. Hot tears began to swell as regrets huddled within her heart like storm clouds. Birds sang far off in the distance, and families quickly rushed by, avoiding the scene to protect the innocence of their children. Indecent men smiled at her and argued amongst themselves, making taunting jokes and inmannerable suggestions regarding what they wanted to do with her. She was hopeless, I'm sure. Her identity stripped away, her independence for sale, her virtue slaughtered and her future fading. She probably began to blame herself, accepting this punishment for her crimes and selfishness. She probably prayed that someone would just pay the price and collect her with his other possessions so that this public humiliation would stop. She probably wrung her fingers together, beneath her bounded wrists, reflecting on the choices she would have changed if she could.
The bidding had begun. Money was being suggested for her value and her price. "I am worthless", she probably thought, as men began to push and shove each other, arguing over the woman that would only be considered little more than a collector's item.
Voices escalated in the dry desert air and from the corner of her eye, I'm sure that she was confused by commotion in the crowd. She must have noticed the people parting, and wondered what was happening to make such a scene,  as a man pushed his way through the crowd and desperately shouted, "I will buy her! What is her price? However much it is,  I will buy her... I will buy her!!!"
"You want that filth?", someone from the crowd might have questioned the man, grabbing his arm to hold him back.
"Let go", he may have demanded from the person, snatching his arm away from their grasp and rushing towards the platform. "Please take all my money, sir", the man would have said to the seller, "I will pay whatever you ask".

I wonder how Gomer must have felt, with her head hung low as she saw scruffy hands exchange money for her purchase for property. And I wonder what must have went through her mind as she lifted her eyes, just high enough to take a curious glance at her new owner, only to discover that it was Hosea, her husband whom she had left over and over again. The tears she must have cried, as he removed the ropes from her hands and feet. The overwhelming love she must have struggled to accept as he took off his own garments to cover her nakedness.
"Why?", she must have whispered, too ashamed to look him in the eye.
"Because Gomer, I love you", would have been his response. "Now let's go home".

Scripture never reveals how this experience and demonstration of love changed Gomer. But I think it's safe to say that she was never the same. Hosea's love for her compelled him to assume her guilt as his own. He put himself in the way of public humiliation to buy back what was already his for a price that was worth more than the purchase. He didn't have to, but he did. He could have said, "Well, after everything she's done to me, I'm glad to be rid of her". But instead, his love for her saw past his hurts and into her healing. She was a woman with many stains, many masks and many sins. She was used, abused, and worthless to the world. But to one man, she was his world and he gave up everything to get her back.

Jesus has done the same for you and for me. We are His Gomers.

Something to think about.
~Pearls

As White as Snow

There is a precisely calming awe connected to snow. What is it about the frigid white blanket of solid precipitation that always seems to melt away the impatience, the moodiness and the restlessness of the world, if even for just a moment?

On Facebook, a friend posted, "Was I the only one who looked out of my window to check and see if it snowed this morning?". The response resulted in 244 likes and 52 comments. So, clearly, others around the country reacted in the same way. I know I did. To peel back even one blind and glance at a white covered world brings such amazement and serenity within that very moment. It makes me wonder: If natural snow, that will melt away, can give such affirmative peace, how much more than should I allow my life to rest in the eternal peace of my Salvation, which scripture tells us will make our hearts as white as snow?

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." ~Isaiah 1:18

God desires to give us peace, not just for the moment, but for eternity. His peace is what guards our life from the troubles that come with this world and sustains us through the uncharted waters and the ups and the downs of life. Sin, that which separates us from God, no longer has to be a fear in our hearts. When we align ourselves with God and His word and when we agree to allow Jesus to be Lord over us, then our sins are washed away and our Salvation brings about a clean heart before a Holy God. No need to fear His holiness, if we are partakers in it! It is a free gift with an everlasting promise: If we turn from our own ways and accept Jesus as our Savior, there is freedom from fear, peace for the unknown and a heart made clean like snow.

As we continue to experience the winter weather of the days to come, remember that all the beauty we see out of our windows will soon melt away. The white ice will turn black from the dust and the mud. Children will ruin the crystal landscapes with their sleds and snowball fights. The city will begin to shovel and salt the mystery away, but for those of us who are rooted in Jesus, His purity, which makes our hearts snow white, will never fade. It is eternally beautiful. Our peace and security in Him and in His love will outlast any season we may experience in this life. Through Jesus, our souls are made holy and pure and nothing can take that away!

~Pearls

Argue in the name of Love

Last week, my husband and I were headed down the road towards a pretty unfriendly disagreement. I must admit that it was completely my fault. I over reacted (like usual). I spoke too soon (like usual). I failed to consider all of the facts (like usual).

In my close circle of friends, which pretty much consists of all of the members of Pearls of Hope, we have developed, for the most part, a pretty telepathic form of communication. We can read each other's emotions and do a pretty good job of interpreting the body language of another woman. We understand the meaning of a sigh, or the teary eyed look from a friend. But I have to admit, it never dawned on me that this form of communication was/is foreign to my husband, and many men for that matter.

During our argument, I was waiting for him to interpret my body language, perceive my unspoken thoughts through my tears and gestures. I was hoping for his "AHA" moment to happen, without my use of words or verbal expressions of my feelings; yet when I did not receive an indication that he understood me, I began to become frustrated and, let's just say that the scripture "slow to speak" was no longer resonating in my thoughts. Thankfully, the Lord, in His tender kindness, has a way of stepping in and calming the storms of our hearts. Because Jesus is our center, we were able to lovingly resolve the tensions and misunderstandings, before any ship wrecks occurred!

Ladies, although I am only still a newly wed, I want to empress upon you the importance of being vulnerable within your relationships. Our husbands, boyfriends, friends, families- they are not mind readers. Jesus is the only one who can peer into the crevices of our hearts; it's foolish to expect another person to preform a task that we ourselves are not capable of doing. There is nothing wrong with arguments; in fact, conflict is needed to allow a relationship to grow. Healthy conflict will result in you learning more about yourself and your loved one. It brings out our true nature, flaws, weaknesses and strengths- all of which is necessary to be exposed, if we are desiring to build an honest and open relationship with someone. But we have to be willing to expose ourselves if we expect to gain the trust and confidence of the other person, in order for them to do the same with us.

Below is an article from Relevant Magazine. I thought it might be helpful for those of you who need a little lesson on arguing in a healthy and loving manner. It's focus in on marriage, but really, the information can be applied to any relationship. I hope this will help you and encourage you in your journey with Jesus.

Remember, our Lord is a relational God. He wants us to build and grow in His grace and share His love with others.

Be honest, be kind and be blessed!

~Pearls
RELEVANT MAGAZINE: 8-things-every-healthy-marriage-has