Becoming Myself

One of the most beautiful things about being a woman, in my opinion, is the fact that we, culturally, have permission to scream when we see each other! Think about it... I mean, screaming isn't very appropriate in public. If I see a spider and I scream, people will look at me like I have lost all my senses. But if you get a group of ladies together and they start screaming, well, in most cases onlookers will respond with endearment: "Those sweet girls"!

Yes, I love being around women who scream, laugh, cry, and love... but mostly, I love being around women who love Jesus! I think that's why Pearls of Hope is so very special. Jesus is always in the midst!

For the month of February, we have been earnestly reading the book: "Becoming Myself" by Stasi Eldridge. Honey... if you have't read it... READ IT! From hormones, to husbands, to mother struggles and self-identity, this book covered just about every area that makes a woman, well...a woman. 

The premise of the book was that, if we truly want to unlock the self that we ever hope to be, it first and foremost starts with developing a relationship with the Lord. He is the One who made us, so He only understands who it is we were created to be, even though sometimes we aren't even sure ourselves. There are so many secret parts in our famine heart, but Stasi Eldridge calls us valiant! We are needed in this generation- where so many women in this culture are throwing themselves in harms way and devaluing the heart that Christ has placed in them, simply to gain the attention of strangers who don't even truly care for them. 

We all have lived below our God-given potential. We've all made poor choices and we all know what it's like to search for purpose and meaning. Some of us went about it through education, others used the medium of relationships or success or rebellion even. But no matter what we try to fill ourselves up with, in the end, we are always empty without Jesus. This book was such a sweet reminder that we have all been chosen by God: no matter your story.

As many of you know, we are a group of strongly opinionated women, and I enjoyed sitting back and listening to the comments, encouragement and life lessons that were poured out as we thumbed through our favorite parts of this book! I thank God for writers like Mrs. Eldridge and so many other "Big Sisters" that allow God's love to guide them as they help so many of us navigate through our walks with Jesus!

No matter who you are, or where you are going, it's never too late to embrace God's love for you and start seeing yourself through His eyes! No, you are not perfect, but He is perfectly able to perfect you into the image of Christ and love you as you become who He has created you to be!

Be encouraged my loves!

-Katrina McCain, President

A Wardrobe to Live By!

It's a Saturday morning and you are off to meet some friends for lunch! You complete your morning routine, as usual, bun your hair up and head for the closet. As you peel back the rows of clothes that hang in your wardrobe, you instinctively reach for a cute, selfie-appropriate dress! Even though you purchased it a year ago, the tags are still hanging from the collar. You tried it on several times in the store before you bought it and have been keeping it for just the right moment. You begin the process of putting it on, which becomes less than effortless. The bust area is too tight, the zipper won't budge and the waist line seems to squeeze the life out of you! As you stare at your reflection in the mirror, you realize that, despite it's beauty, it just doesn't fit quite right.   "No matter", you think, "It used to fit. Maybe no one will notice" and you walk out the door, in less than perfect style.

Its funny to think about purposefully leaving the house with zippers unzipped or hemlines that are
crooked. I  hope that, in real life, we would never EVER do this to ourselves. Hopefully, we would never purposefully wear clothes that we could not walk, non the less, breathe in. But the truth is, whether we are aware of it or not, spiritually, we are all guilty of wearing things we have out grown, heedless that they are no longer attractive. In our daily living we can put on things that hide the beauty that is ours in Christ. Sure, we might notice a little problem in our attitude here and there or we may recognize that a couple of motives should be checked, but instead of dealing with those concerns, we drape a necklace over it and walk out the door. We can wear attitudes, mindsets and ill gotten intensions, oblivious of how they make us look to those who are watching.

We can mistake unforgiveness as strength, not realizing that the anger we are wearing no longer fits in our life. The person you hope to scold has actually moved on, while you are still in the moment, reliving it every time they come to mind. It's time to fold those feelings away. Human anger cannot produce the goodness of God in your life or in any other situation (James 1:20). Society loves a good feud and, if we listen to what is popular in our world, we might just find ourselves wearing the wrong types of emotions. Instead, God wants us to trade in our anger by putting on kindness and forgiveness. They may not be trendy, but I promise you they will feel good and look great!

Maybe there is a relationship that you are trying to hold onto that just isn't fitting anymore. Every time you try to secure a button, another one just pops off. You give your best efforts, but the stitches continue to unravel. It might be time to place it in the "Goodwill" pile! What won't fit in your life, might be perfect for someone else! As women, I think our eternal flaw is believing that we can hold onto relationships forever, but like a summer dress, relationships are sometimes seasonal- not meant to weather every storm. Sometimes, it's more loving to part as friends, than to split as enemies. Knowing when to let go is a grace in and of itself! You don't want to be caught off guard wearing gloves in the spring or sandals in the snow! Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything and that everything is beautiful in its time! But forcing to keep what God is asking you to let go of will result in catastrophe! The best thing to do, in this case, is to lay those garment...err, relationships, down and ask the Lord for His guidance. He will show you what  you need to do (John 14:26), in a mature and loving manner, as to not rip apart and tear hearts.

Another area we may be outgrowing is in the area of our personal devotion time with God. This is hard to believe, but as we follow Christ, it should result in growth and change, not perpetual behavior. Yes, we have our "go-to" books and our "go-to" sermons; we have our trusty quotes and our comfortable prayers, but what if, as we progress through life, God is asking us to try on bigger shoes or longer britches? We can become complacent in even our worship if we refuse to allow the Holy Spirit to challenge us. It might be time for a wardrobe change: exchanging our sweat shirt and jeans for something more proper. This may be uncomfortable at first, but building our faith by challenging our comfort zones will bring on maturity in our lives so that we can be better positioned to complete the good work that God has purposed for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Sometimes, our usual methods won't produce the spiritual figures that is required for us in the long run. Maybe it's time to box away our conventional attempts of praise and allow our hearts to be lead down untrodden paths that the Lord may be trying to guide us on. High Heels are cute and flats are comfy, but maybe this time, we need to put them away in their boxes and trade them in for some hiking shoes!

As I write to each of you, I am in self reflection. I am looking at my present state in life and I definitely see somethings that I cannot allow myself to wear any more, no matter how much I still enjoy them. It doesn't have to be too small or too big in order for it not to be the best fit. Maybe something fits perfectly, but it's out of season.
I remember, just recently, I walked out the house with sandals and a crop top, unaware that the weather called for a 60% chance of rain. I was bummed and embarrassed. I should have considered the environment before I selected my attire. We can all admit to making a wardrobe flop once in a while. So, what then can we do to be sure that our spiritual clothes are not the wrong size for us or that we are appropriately dressed for the right environment?
In the natural world, a mirror is the best way to check out your reflection, and, to be honest, a mirror is one of my favorite tools to use! I love mine! I have about 4! You can check your face, your hair, your body and your outfits. You can use a mirror to take cute selfies or to fix any problems that you might discover about your reflection. Many of us (and tell the truth) even carry mirrors in our bags! They are a staple in our daily routine. God has also provided  us with His own type of mirror, through His word, so that we can check ourselves before we venture out into the world and  before we engage with other people, so that we can reflect on who we are and who we are called to be and look like. We can use scripture to determine if what we are wearing is inappropriate for us or if it no longer fits. We can use scripture as our mirror to determine if we are looking like Jesus!
According to James, "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do" (James 1:23-25).

That is truly the most embarrassing wardrobe mistake of all... not knowing what you look like! I cringe at the thought of even the smallest bit of lipstick on my teeth or a shirt that has been worn backwards! Ladies, we are GORGEOUS, but if we are not living according to the scriptures, even the most prettiest of us will look foolish. So, my challenge to us all is to use God's words to self reflect this week and every day for that matter! Is this attitude out of date for me? Are these goals I have my heart set on expired and too small for me? What about my prayer life- Does it fit? Is this relationship in or out of season? Let's be sure to pattern our lives, not just our words, according to scripture so that we can reflect God's love in our hearts for others to see! His Love is always trending and it never goes out of style! 

Dress carefully, intentionally and lovingly!

~Pear

YOU are Someone's Answer to Prayer!

I think it's safe to say that we all place value on belonging; we all want to be accepted, valued, loved and considered. We all want to have the sense of knowing that we are important and special to someone else. But, many of us have suffered from looking for such relationships in the wrong places. In High School, some of us may have tried to get approval by going against the grain; by rebelling against our parents and teachers- making choices that we'd much rather forget. In college, maybe the trend continued, or maybe, we poured ourselves into trying to find romantic relationships, our studies and our friends- not interested in letting other people into our small circle. Maybe that's not your story, but odds are, you know the pain of wanting to belong. You know the strain of hoping to be accepted and included, with no ulterior motives and no strings attached.

In my life, this has been the cause of many tears on my pillow; it has been my hearts cry through out my high school and college years and, though I am an adult now, it still pulls at my heart strings when I notice others who feel on the outside and want to be grafted in to a group- any group- that might have even an inkling of interest in them, because I understand. I understand how important it is to be apart of something or someone that we deem to be great. But if pursuing such relationships is our focus, we could be in danger of overlooking how pivotal our lives can be in adding value to others.

In Christ, there are no outsiders. There is only love and all are welcomed and included. There is no one who is too cool, too important or too good. We are all valued and held in high regard, because Christ loves us, just the way we are. I've never known so much acceptance before I met Christ, and now that I am in Christ, I see Him pour love and friendship freely into my life, through other people and for other people. And I am honored to receive and give in such a manner, not just with my friends, but in my family, in my community and in my world. I am blessed to have Pearls of Hope to pour myself into, but more importantly, I am blessed that what I pour out is not in vain. 

Pearls of Hope is not a clique. We are not an exclusive club or a secret sisterhood. We are just regular girls who followed God's love and accidentally bumped into each other along the way. We share more than casual laughs on a Friday night. We share each other's lives. We pray for one another, because we care. We pitch in to help those in need, encourage each other to believe in who God says we are and we hold each other accountable to be our upmost best out of truth and love. We're not perfect, but we trust a perfect God and He says that we belong!

This past month, we've received 2 emails from girls we've never met, who have expressed a longing to find friends who are focused on God. Neither of the authors of these emails live in North Carolina and they shared how much they wished they could find a place where they belonged. Maybe they are not alone in their feelings. Maybe, underneath it all, we just want to belong; we just want to feel loved and important. And you do! You do belong- regardless of your past, your present or your choice in future. You have a special place in Christ, if you only allow Him to produce His love in you and live in obedience in your life. I promise, the results are incredible and Christ will begin to send people your way who will encourage and support your efforts in Him!

All of us, at one time or another, felt alone. We have all felt overlooked, misunderstood and have even struggled in our Christian walk, but God knows that "it is not good for man to be alone" (Gen. 2: 18). And so, in this life with Christ, success comes when we live life corporately, not individually. God began to bring the right people at the right time and it has been a blessing that we hope to continue to share with anyone who is interested in joining us! We are friends, not because we have some secret recipe; not because we've grown up our whole lives together or even because we just have so much in common. No, our friendships are based on the one true fact that Christ loves us all and has given us a love to share with each other and with the entire world, no matter who and no matter what!

If you are still searching for a place to belong, I'd like to challenge you to pray and ask the Lord to give you friends with whom you can enjoy and encourage. Ask for guidance in choosing the right people to be apart of your life- people who will encourage you to do and be the best that you can be and people who will push you forward, not hold you back! There are so many individuals who are praying for a friend like you to enter their lives! YOU are someone's answer to prayer! Don't doubt the importance that your life brings or the impact that you can create just by walking into a room. I promise  you, you are so special, not because of what you do or who you associate yourself with, but you are special because of who loves you, and that is Christ!

Love others and let God's love shine through you! Be a friend and look for opportunities to be friendly! There is so much good we can all do in the world, but it first starts with seeking God to connect us with people that we can grow, love and learn with. No one is an island! It takes a team... a tribe, and that is what makes the journey so incredibly wonderful and fun!

Have fun, make friends and have faith!

~Pearls

Pearls of Wisdom: 5 Ways to Avoid Making a Mess of Things

When it comes to making mistakes, I am Queen!!! 

I always find myself saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, making wrong assumptions and then feeling completely stupid and embarrassed afterwards. Mistakes follow me because, well... I'm human. I'm impulsive. I'm reactive. And though I want to make wise choices, sometimes, what seems wise at the moment reveals itself to be yet another mistake. Am I alone? Odds are, I'm not. Odds are, you can look back over your life... over the last 30 days even, and recognize some unwise choices you've made. As we mature into adults, the expectation is that we will grow wiser. But wisdom is not a coming of age attribute. It is not acquired by the being or the existing; rather, it is received by the seeking. Wisdom is a spiritual gift and one that must be practiced, pursued and  prayed for. It is not an accidental accomplishment.

King Solomon, the wisest man recorded in scripture, writes several books in the Bible dedicated to  wisdom and how one can acquire it. He uses personification to liken wisdom to a woman: something that should be beautifully desired and cherished. I love that! Wisdom, according to King Solomon, should take on the role of a lover, a sister and an intimate friend (Proverbs 7:4). He also uses illustrations and mistakes from his own life to compose the book of Proverbs and Ecclesiates, which, if you are not aware, will set your heart on the path to wisdom, if you are willing to expose yourself to its truths.

King Solomon, for those of you who do not know, became king at a young age (approximately 20 years old). When asked by the Lord for a gift of his choosing, Solomon answered, "Wisdom and a discerning heart" (1 Kings 3:8). Scripture goes on to say that the Lord was very pleased with Solomon's request. As a result, Solomon was not only the wisest, but also the most wealthy of any King in all the world, both in his time and in ours. We cannot imagine or fathom the riches this man possessed: Gold, Jewels, Power, even the Queen of Sheba! But, even among the midst of all of his fame, success and riches, Solomon continued to remind himself and us that wisdom is the most precious of any riches that man can obtain. When it came to wisdom, Solomon was King!

"Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you. She will place a lovely wreath on your head; she will present you with a beautiful crown.” My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom’s ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won’t be held back; when you run, you won’t stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don’t let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life."
-Proverbs 4:4-13

In this passage, we can uncover the key elements of obtaining wisdom and how this will produce within us a life of success for ourselves and an example for others. Wisdom will crown our lives and provide protection, success, honor, beauty and long life. If we do things God's way, we are guaranteed to experience these elements of prosperity because they are a reward to those who seek wisdom, which, as scripture teaches, comes from God (Proverbs 1:7).

1. First, we must recognize that wisdom is a spiritual principle. It can't be acquired through books or late night cram sessions. It's a condition of the heart; a willingness to live based on the guidance and instruction of the Lord and those who are in spiritual maturity who love you and who lead by example. It's more than simply good advice. Wisdom is rooted in trust and obedience.

2. Although we can become smarter by making our own mistakes and learning from those lessons, true wisdom is exercised by avoiding those mistakes all together. According to Scripture, who ever trusts in their own thoughts is a fool (Proverbs 28:26). Instead of trying to do things on our own, wisdom requires a relinquishing of our pride and an admittance that we need support and direction in this life. By nature, it seems that we are rebellious creatures and we tend to make choices out of haste; yet "Wisdom cries out... since you refuse to listen when I call and no one pays attention when I stretch out my hand, since you disregard all my advice and do not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you; I will mock when calamity overtakes you—when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you"(Proverbs 1: 24-27).
None of us are naturally wise (1 Corintians 3:18)! But those who seek wisdom heed the warnings from those who are spiritually sound and experienced in living life. If we refuse, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the consequences we will surely suffer. It's our generations' misguided downfall that we can live without regrets. This is not true. When we don't heed wisdom, regrets are sure to follow. Wisdom eliminates disaster and distress.

3. The third way to avoid making mistakes is to recognize that Wisdom must be sought after. It won't be an accidental addition to your life. There must be a pursued hunger to gain wisdom. Ways in which to seek after her is through humbling ourselves to ask questions and advice. Pride keeps us from exposing our struggles to others. We don't want people to know that we are lacking in an area or suffering in another, so we keep it to ourselves, avoid people, lie and make excuses; all which scream UNWISE! If we want to truly live in Wisdom, then we must become vulnerable- facing the truth that we all need help and then seeking the necessary people of whom will guide us. The first step in seeking such help is Prayer! As we pray and ask the Lord to expose our hearts, we can also ask Him to guide us towards people who can pour into us, encourage us and guide us in wisdom. Trust me, it might be difficult and even embarrassing, but the alternative can be destructive to our very purpose and path in life.

4. Once we have aligned ourselves with wise people, the next step is to practice wisdom, purposefully. This basically means that acquiring wisdom far exceeds having a good conversation. How does it benefit anyone to hear wisdom, be taught wisdom and then continue to do the opposite?
I for one get very frustrated when people ask my advice and then don't practice it. It's difficult to pour your heart into helping someone, only for them to take your words and essentially disregard them. I by no means am comparing myself to the Spirit of God, but I imagine He gets a little peeved when we have access to scripture and all it's wisdom, yet don't apply it. We are so blessed in this country to have the freedom of accessing wisdom through God's word. We have access to scripture through our Bibles, through church, through the internet and apps. We can download, upload, order and sing scripture if we want to; yet how much of that is laid on the way side, as we neglect this wisdom in order to figure things out on our own? Doing such puts us at a disadvantage: not just spiritually, but practically as well. "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future" (Proverbs 19:20). Remember, we are not just living haphazardly. There is an enemy that wants us to forget about wisdom. He wants to keep us in the dark so that he can manipulate us and keep us from our victory. Wisdom holds the key to life, but she expects to be pursued.

5. Lastly, Wisdom must be loved. Proverbs states that fools hate wisdom; basically, a fool is one who does everything opposite of what we have been discussing today: They don't understand it's a Spiritual component, they are intent on doing things their own way without any help, they are prideful and won't seek guidance from others and they ignore any advice or warnings that they may receive from those who love them. 

"Apply your heart to wisdom" and "Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you" (Proverbs 23:12/ 4:6). Believe it or not, loving and respecting God is the beginning of all wisdom. A fool says in his heart there is no God (Psalms 14:1). God is wisdom and God is love. When we love God, our natural reaction is to love His wisdom as well, understanding that seeking God means seeking wisdom. It is a simultaneous journey, but the first step is love.

When we live out these principals of wisdom, according to scripture and the leading of God's Spirit, we can most definitely avoid the messes that life so strategically places in our path. When we pursue God, we pursue wisdom, which comes from God and God alone. He is wisdom and therefore is the source to acquiring it. Intellect can be taught, but wisdom is a gift that comes from our Holy Lord. Proverbs 1:7 tells us that the fear of the Lord (to reverence and love God and to respect His commands) is the beginning of all wisdom.

I admit, sometimes, mistakes just happen. It's part of living. When we mess up, it's always smart to learn from these mistakes, but it's wise not to make them at all. In so doing, we save ourselves so much heartache, valuable time and our state of mind. Learn from your mistakes... don't repeat them. But at the same time, pray for wisdom and discernment so as not to even put yourself in the position to make any unnecessary messes. In this way, you reap multiple rewards and honor God at the same time! Wear wisdom like a crown and be prosperous in decisions in all manner of life. We must wantour choices to be lovely and free of stupid mistakes that bring regret and shame. I want my marriage to be lovely... so I must be wise in the way I operate as a wife. I want my friendships to be filled with honor, so I must choose my friends wisely. I want my finances to be secure, so I must use discernment when it comes to making purchases and investments. In life, we have so many options to choose, so many choices to make; life is hard enough without falling prey to poor decisions that will only result in clean ups on isle 12!

*Just for fun, I thought it would be encouraging to share with you wisdom that some of us Pearls have acquired throughout our lifetime and experiences. Below, a few of the girls share lessons that they have learned. I hope it blesses you!

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"Make up your mind to not live in excuses or reasons to quit. When things get difficult, use those challenges to shape your character. Running from hard times only prolongs your pain. Don't be afraid to live without compromise for Jesus, because this will eliminate any regret or uncertainty".

-Ariel

"My mom used to always say, "fear is the devil's favorite weapon but we should always use our weapon of faith".

-BB

"Keep God first in all that you do! His plans are always better than our plans and He knows which way we should go. Ask for His guidance. Also, cherish the time that you have with your children. Don't let things get in the way of those special moments because time doesn't slow down as they grow! Those are the moments they'll remember and love you for the most!"
-Shari M.

"The best lesson I ever learned from my mom is, 'watch other people so that you know what NOT to do'. I've avoided so many ridiculous mistakes and embarrassments by this simple piece of advice!"

-Katrina

"Make the necessary sacrifices early so that you can live the life you dreamed of later. Follow the Holy Spirit with your whole heart. Live in truth and trust! Enjoy your entire journey and look for positive lessons that are birthed out of your afflictions. Don't make excuses when you fall short of God's standards. Ask the Lord to change your heart."
-Brandi B.

Love Wisdom my Sisters!

~Pearls

Flying High for Jesus

We all have our "Lots" in life. Mine tends to be my consistent exposure to misunderstandings and disappointments with others. Sometimes I wonder, "am I the ONLY one" who is serving Christ with my whole heart? Where are all the other "Christians" who are willing to reject the norms of the culture and live a life that is contrary to popular belief?" Sometimes, we can feel like we're the only ones flying high...sometimes, we can honestly feel as if we're the only one flying at all.

In Daniel, the prophet records his experiences as a young man, where the pleasures of life were surrounding him and free for him to indulge and take part in. There were many young men from his homeland who didn't seem to mind participating in various affairs. But not Daniel. Scripture says that he chose not to "defile himself" (Daniel 1:8).

Those around him probably thought he was so extreme, or not realistic, but Daniel was willing to fly high for God. That is how I want to be. I want to be like Daniel: I want to live a life that is so closely reflectant of Christ, that no one would ever have any questions or any doubts about my commitment to Him. I want to make sure that my choices, my activities and my lifestyle is as far from the middle road as possible. At the end of the day, what does it matter if it's not pleasing Christ? And who do I think that I am to justify certain behaviors that I would not want to include Jesus in?


In our Christian society, people talk a lot about "conviction"; using the term as if to justify their own personal feelings towards one thing or another. But truly, our only conviction, as Christians, should be to live a life, based on scripture, such that others are drawn to Christ. If my choices and lifestyle are contrary to scripture, then my feelings are irrelevant. We must all consider the teachings of Paul, which are lead by the Holy Spirit:

"And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father."- Colossians 3:17

So I'd like to ask you this: are your deeds a representative of the Lord Jesus, or are they a representative of the culture, your friends or yourself? And if, indeed, you do have a heart for Christ, whose authority and influence are you navigating your choices by?

I hope we all humble ourselves enough to realize that this life for Jesus is not to be lived on our own terms, but on His. He continues to give us the power, through the Holy Spirit, to stand firm against temptations and activities that do not reflect His name. So the choice boils down to us: are we willing to Fly High for Jesus, even if that means flying all by ourselves? I hope we can all come to a place in our hearts, where we are willing to take such a challenge; just like Daniel. I hope we can all decide that our priority will always be to please our Savior and not our culture or our selves!

Something to think about...

~Pearls