How to Shade the SHADE

SHADE: 
using words and actions in a casual or disrespectful manner towards someone; dissing a friend; coming for someone.

Synonyms: gossip; slander

-Urban Dictionary




SHADE!!!!! We all throw it from time to time- from one end of the room to the other (either knowingly or unknowingly). It's funny, though, right? Best served over a beverage with friends, or on the phone when there is nothing better to do.

"But did she use a mirror first?"

"I guess that's clearly over!"

"Let me sip my tea, while I don't help her this time!"

"No shade, but where did she get those clothes?"

Literally, I am even giggling now with thoughts of shade I've over heard or even thrown, myself!
We all know what gossip is, of course, and that is exactly what shade is! Its a gossip when done in private, and slander when done in public. It happens when we say rude, condescending and mean things about people, either out of entertainment or out of bitterness. It can happen on purpose or out of instinctive reaction and it can occur in different forms: When we tell a secret with the intensions of entertaining ourselves with someone else's business or if we spread a half-truth or a whole truth that no one really needs to know about.
It's one thing to be informative, but another thing to share information that is unnecessary, unhelpful and unkind. So, basically, our motive determines whether information crosses the line between truth and shade.

The Bible has plenty to say about the topic:

"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much". (Proverbs 20:19) 

"Do not go about spreading slander among your people". (Leviticus 19:16) 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) 

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth". (Ephesians 4:29) 

Any of us who have the gift of gab or who enjoy a good laugh with friends, have found ourselves at one time or another, involved in a Shade exchange. Based off of the scriptures we just reviewed, we know this is wrong, but the Bible doesn't stop with "thou shalt not".... It also provides us with positive alternatives.

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

"Do not return evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For, the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from speaking deceit." (1 Peter 3: 9-10)

There are multiple consequences when we speak unkindly, but the sad part is that throwing shade has become an intricate part of our daily conversations. In fact, we are practically encouraged to act shady, be shady and find shady people whom we can be shady with! Thats one of the reasons why TV shows like The Real Housewives are so popular! We, as a culture, enjoy the loom of shade! But, in reality, it has the unfortunate disposition of ruining relationships, trust and feelings. We can swear that we mean no harm, but does harm hurt less when it's unintended? I wonder... if we were to ever walk in on a shade fest in our honor, would we truly be honored by the words we would hear? I'd like to think that the answer would be, "no".
Engaging with one another in love, in encouragement and in motivation requires cleaning up our language, weather it be cussing, gossip, lying or SHADE. This might be the hardest challenge, because words are sometimes expressed without thought. In the moment, we may not even realize how it is coming across or the damage that our words can potentially have on ourselves or others. James 3:8 tells us that no one can "tame the tongue".

"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26).

Basically, what this means is that our words mirror our hearts. If we say we love God, that we care about others, that our hearts have good intentions, then this will be exposed by the words we use and say. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). This is why, on a daily basis, we must ask the Lord to search our hearts and know our thoughts (Psalm 139:23). If we are to be people of excellence and women with standard, then the Shade has got to go. And this is done by filling our hearts with beautiful thoughts, lovely words and pure intentions.

The changing of our hearts, our words and our motives is not an automatic process. It takes intentional attempts and consistency in motivation. We must seek out opportunities to speak well and kind, and avoid opportunities to throw shade. So, this week, lets all take the challenge to tell a friend, a co-worker or a family member how much you appreciate them. Give compliments and positive messages. Send someone an encouraging note. Tell somebody you're thinking about them. Trade in the shade for something that will be uplifting and encouraging. Let people know that you are praying for them and show them how much you care! If you see an issue or a need, don't talk about them or make jokes at their expense, ask them if there is any way you could help. There are all kinds of ways to "be kind and compassionate to one another." In this way, we are building our relationships, not tearing them down!

Speak well, my loves. Speak truth, speak life and do it all to the glory of God!

~Pearls

Orlando

7 days ago, our country experienced a massacre of unprecedented degree. 50 people lost their lives, 53 more people were injured beyond just the physicality's that result from wounds of such magnitude. I myself have experienced the pain resulting from loosing a loved one to bullet wounds. The psychological devastation alone is almost unbearable. There is no telling how detrimental these lasting results will be for the individuals who were personally effected. The devastation doesn't end with the yellow tape that lines the walls of Pulse night club: there are mothers who are left to grieve for their children, friends whose only peace comes from saved text messages and memories, co-workers who are left lonely because a colleague's desk is now empty. The sinister aftermath continues to ricochet throughout the city of Orlando, the media and ultimately, our entire country and to be honest, I am left with so many conflicting feelings. Not towards the victims and their families, because, as any healthy human response should be, I am in horror, shock and grief over the loss of life and the hate that fired off into the night without any regard for those dear people. But what confuses me- more so what enrages me, are the disgusting slurs, statuses, comments and articles projecting from the mouths of people who claim that they are representations of Christ.

In our Bible study last week, one of our Pearls emotionally expressed her aggravation towards the

attitudes of "Christians" who used this tragedy as their soap box to belittle, devalue and disrespect the lives that were lost that night. She expressed how frustrated she was to see how ungracious, unkind and how cruel people (yes, even church people) can be. Listening to her and the other girls' reactions to some of the obscene and ruthless comments floating around the media is the true tragedy here, because, based on scripture, those who celebrate the destruction of others are misguided in their efforts of representing who God truly is.

According to 1 John 4:20-21, "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister".
Various translations of this scripture use the term "neighbor" instead of brother and sister and I find this very interesting. It lead me to a conversation that Jesus had with a religious man in Luke chapter 10. This man, with all of his esteem and intellect, wanted to know the way to eternal life. Because of his pride, we wanted to test Jesus. His question was in front of a large crowd and his words were coated in arrogance. So Jesus simply asked him, "What is the greatest commandment?"

To this, the man answered, "to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself". And just who is our neighbor?

Jesus goes on to tell a story of a man who was robbed and beaten. 2 religious people pass him by, avoiding the man because he did not look clean. They could've helped him, but instead, they dismissed his plight. They overlooked his condition and his tragedy, because they were full of pride and misguided in their own evaluation of themselves. Finally, a kind man passed the hurting person and did all that was in his power to help him. He gave the man his own clothes, paid for medical attention and a place for the man to stay and eat.

"Who was the neighbor to the beaten man", Jesus asked the religious man.

The religious man regretfully admitted, "The one who showed him Mercy"

In response to this answer, Jesus says, "go and do likewise".

I am touched by this story because, if we are to truly be who God has called us to be in this world, we have to be loving and love requires mercy. It doesn't matter if we agree or disagree with someone's life choices. Being a Christian is more than words and songs on Sunday; it's a lifestyle rooted in the one ideology that the term "Christian" upholds... being like Christ! It is our calling to be Jesus in the world (1 John 4:17)- to love as he loves us, to help those who are seeking hope and to have mercy when people, whom God loves, are being mistreated and abused. How in the world can we name the name of Christ, but then celebrate when tragedy falls on people who have been made in the image of the God we claim to love?

The derogatory slurs, comments and hateful Facebook statuses that I have encountered in passing, have been offensive and appalling, especially those made by people who have manipulated God's truth to support their own hateful agendas. One preacher in Sacramento, California, went so far as to say that he wished "they" would all have their brains blown up! How grotesque! ... and in the name of God? Who are any of us to misrepresent our Savior in such a way?  Wasn't it God who tells us that His heart breaks whenever anyone suffers? He doesn't want anyone to perish but for all people to know His love and be reunited in relationship with Him (2 Peter 3:9). How then, as scripture states it, can we claim to love God whom we haven't seen, yet hate our neighbor who we clearly see? We have not been called to speak love in one breath and hate with another breath. This is hypocrisy! Remember, "If we speak in tongues of angels, but don't love, we are nothing" (1 Corinthians 13: 1).

Love does not mean that we have to abandon scripture or deny what we believe in, but what love does mean is that we respect and value all human life and celebrate all people because everyone is valuable in the eyes of God! To love is not limited to only people who are like you. In Christ, we have been called to love without limitation and to love our neighbors as ourself (Mark 12: 31). These are God's commands to His church! Time and time again, Jesus emphasized this truth to his disciples and His disciples continued to proclaim these scriptures throughout all the churches of the 1st Century and into this moment. Those were not suggestions! It was not specific only to that time and place, but for all generations who chose to follow in the name of Christ. "Love one another, as I have loved you!" (John 13: 34). To claim that we love God, much less know God personally, but then reject His commandments to love others and to show good to others is only a refection of the lack of understanding and godly wisdom one possess in their heart (1 John 2:3).

I don't want to come across ranting and raving, but please, lets' do better and lets truly strive to love like Jesus! We can disagree on important matters and still maintain kindness, gentleness and respect for others (1 Peter 3: 13-16)!  I hope this is an important reminder to all of us who proclaim Christianity: to treat others out of malice and hate is not love.  And if it's not love, it isn't Christ and if it isn't Christ, then your actions are not of God! Instead of anger and hateful words, our response should be to seek ways in which we can offer hope to those who are hurting, pray for others, be compassionate and ultimately, simply show love and kindness.
"They will know you are Christians by your love" (John 13: 35). So will the REAL Christians please stand up? Where is our love? Where is our grace and our compassion? Even God, Himself, is slow to anger! He is patient and long-suffering with all of us, who by nature are all imperfect. Wasn't it God who wanted to spare Ninevah? Didn't He tell the prophet Jonah that He loved the people, in spite of their choices? Wasn't it God who said the same thing about you and me? How then, can we accept His love for us, but then deny sharing that same love with others? We are no better than anyone. In fact, we are every man- all in need of kindness, mercy and love from the Lord.

I want to end this article with a quote made by Kelly Osbourne... It's a shame that this wasn't proclaimed from the pulpits and Facebook statuses from so called "Christians". It's something to think about...

"The tragedy in Orlando devastated me and reminded me that every moment of our lives is precious. Every human is precious. Love hard. Live gracefully, authentically and with conviction, respect, purpose and compassion."- Kelly Osbourne

Love others and be compassionate. Live gracefully. Be Jesus.

~Pearls

A Wardrobe to Live By!

It's a Saturday morning and you are off to meet some friends for lunch! You complete your morning routine, as usual, bun your hair up and head for the closet. As you peel back the rows of clothes that hang in your wardrobe, you instinctively reach for a cute, selfie-appropriate dress! Even though you purchased it a year ago, the tags are still hanging from the collar. You tried it on several times in the store before you bought it and have been keeping it for just the right moment. You begin the process of putting it on, which becomes less than effortless. The bust area is too tight, the zipper won't budge and the waist line seems to squeeze the life out of you! As you stare at your reflection in the mirror, you realize that, despite it's beauty, it just doesn't fit quite right.   "No matter", you think, "It used to fit. Maybe no one will notice" and you walk out the door, in less than perfect style.

Its funny to think about purposefully leaving the house with zippers unzipped or hemlines that are
crooked. I  hope that, in real life, we would never EVER do this to ourselves. Hopefully, we would never purposefully wear clothes that we could not walk, non the less, breathe in. But the truth is, whether we are aware of it or not, spiritually, we are all guilty of wearing things we have out grown, heedless that they are no longer attractive. In our daily living we can put on things that hide the beauty that is ours in Christ. Sure, we might notice a little problem in our attitude here and there or we may recognize that a couple of motives should be checked, but instead of dealing with those concerns, we drape a necklace over it and walk out the door. We can wear attitudes, mindsets and ill gotten intensions, oblivious of how they make us look to those who are watching.

We can mistake unforgiveness as strength, not realizing that the anger we are wearing no longer fits in our life. The person you hope to scold has actually moved on, while you are still in the moment, reliving it every time they come to mind. It's time to fold those feelings away. Human anger cannot produce the goodness of God in your life or in any other situation (James 1:20). Society loves a good feud and, if we listen to what is popular in our world, we might just find ourselves wearing the wrong types of emotions. Instead, God wants us to trade in our anger by putting on kindness and forgiveness. They may not be trendy, but I promise you they will feel good and look great!

Maybe there is a relationship that you are trying to hold onto that just isn't fitting anymore. Every time you try to secure a button, another one just pops off. You give your best efforts, but the stitches continue to unravel. It might be time to place it in the "Goodwill" pile! What won't fit in your life, might be perfect for someone else! As women, I think our eternal flaw is believing that we can hold onto relationships forever, but like a summer dress, relationships are sometimes seasonal- not meant to weather every storm. Sometimes, it's more loving to part as friends, than to split as enemies. Knowing when to let go is a grace in and of itself! You don't want to be caught off guard wearing gloves in the spring or sandals in the snow! Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything and that everything is beautiful in its time! But forcing to keep what God is asking you to let go of will result in catastrophe! The best thing to do, in this case, is to lay those garment...err, relationships, down and ask the Lord for His guidance. He will show you what  you need to do (John 14:26), in a mature and loving manner, as to not rip apart and tear hearts.

Another area we may be outgrowing is in the area of our personal devotion time with God. This is hard to believe, but as we follow Christ, it should result in growth and change, not perpetual behavior. Yes, we have our "go-to" books and our "go-to" sermons; we have our trusty quotes and our comfortable prayers, but what if, as we progress through life, God is asking us to try on bigger shoes or longer britches? We can become complacent in even our worship if we refuse to allow the Holy Spirit to challenge us. It might be time for a wardrobe change: exchanging our sweat shirt and jeans for something more proper. This may be uncomfortable at first, but building our faith by challenging our comfort zones will bring on maturity in our lives so that we can be better positioned to complete the good work that God has purposed for us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Sometimes, our usual methods won't produce the spiritual figures that is required for us in the long run. Maybe it's time to box away our conventional attempts of praise and allow our hearts to be lead down untrodden paths that the Lord may be trying to guide us on. High Heels are cute and flats are comfy, but maybe this time, we need to put them away in their boxes and trade them in for some hiking shoes!

As I write to each of you, I am in self reflection. I am looking at my present state in life and I definitely see somethings that I cannot allow myself to wear any more, no matter how much I still enjoy them. It doesn't have to be too small or too big in order for it not to be the best fit. Maybe something fits perfectly, but it's out of season.
I remember, just recently, I walked out the house with sandals and a crop top, unaware that the weather called for a 60% chance of rain. I was bummed and embarrassed. I should have considered the environment before I selected my attire. We can all admit to making a wardrobe flop once in a while. So, what then can we do to be sure that our spiritual clothes are not the wrong size for us or that we are appropriately dressed for the right environment?
In the natural world, a mirror is the best way to check out your reflection, and, to be honest, a mirror is one of my favorite tools to use! I love mine! I have about 4! You can check your face, your hair, your body and your outfits. You can use a mirror to take cute selfies or to fix any problems that you might discover about your reflection. Many of us (and tell the truth) even carry mirrors in our bags! They are a staple in our daily routine. God has also provided  us with His own type of mirror, through His word, so that we can check ourselves before we venture out into the world and  before we engage with other people, so that we can reflect on who we are and who we are called to be and look like. We can use scripture to determine if what we are wearing is inappropriate for us or if it no longer fits. We can use scripture as our mirror to determine if we are looking like Jesus!
According to James, "Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do" (James 1:23-25).

That is truly the most embarrassing wardrobe mistake of all... not knowing what you look like! I cringe at the thought of even the smallest bit of lipstick on my teeth or a shirt that has been worn backwards! Ladies, we are GORGEOUS, but if we are not living according to the scriptures, even the most prettiest of us will look foolish. So, my challenge to us all is to use God's words to self reflect this week and every day for that matter! Is this attitude out of date for me? Are these goals I have my heart set on expired and too small for me? What about my prayer life- Does it fit? Is this relationship in or out of season? Let's be sure to pattern our lives, not just our words, according to scripture so that we can reflect God's love in our hearts for others to see! His Love is always trending and it never goes out of style! 

Dress carefully, intentionally and lovingly!

~Pear

Pearls in Roatan!

Words CANNOT express how we feel about our experiences in Honduras. So, instead of trying to explain, we feel it best to just show you!

Please feel free to watch this beautiful video of our trip and experiences during our mission in Honduras. Also, please visit our YOUTUBE channel for more videos regarding our trip!

Here is what some of the Pearls had to say... We hope this blesses you all and thank you once again to everyone who supported, prayed and believed in us!

Thank you!

"My Life has truly been changed by this entire trip. I learned to trust God even more than before. Going to this country gave me insight on how much work has to be done, and unfortunately we cant do everything. But, I'm excited that God has purposed and give us a position to help further His kingdom. Thankful for the stretching + molding that has taken place and is still taking place in all of our lives. God is so good, and crazy faithful". ~Lydia


"This was such a humbling experience [to see how other people live]. They want to serve God and they are so thankful, even though they don't have the things that I take for granted. This confirms for me how much more I need to be living for God. This was one of the best experiences of my life". ~Ashley


"Words can't even describe how amazing this trip was! We were able to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. It is crazy to see how people live there and it makes you realize how much we take for granted in America. I am beyond thankful for this experience. Thank you again to everyone that donated and helped make this trip possible! And thank God for keeping us safe and protected through this whole trip!" ~Angela


"The children had nothing. But they were so happy. There was only one store in the whole Garifuna village, but people were smiling and they welcomed us. It was very humbling to see God's love in places where people had so little." ~BeBe


"Our mission trip to Roatan, Honduras was exciting, emotional, and humbling. We covered so much ground in such a small amount of time. I'm so thankful for being afforded the opportunity to take part in such an amazing experience. Thank you sooooo much to all of those who were kind enough to donate, especially at the last minute. You all will be receiving something in the mail really soon! This trip has reminded me of how privileged and blessed I am. The people that we encountered were so warm and welcoming and happy with the little that they had. We were impacted by them, just as much as they were by us. I pray that God will provide a way for us to continue to help them even in our absence". ~Ariel

Living a Life on Display

I was recently reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of mine, many years ago. She insisted that, in this day and age, people could make their own choices for the particular life that they chose to live, without any spiritual consequences, because God was a loving God who dealt with every person differently and times aren't as simple as they were in the Bible. Of course, this comment really shocked me: the girl who was raised in a Christian home, who attended a Christian School and who went to church, at my parents' urging, more than 3 times a week. I was so perplexed at her statement and attempted to show her the error of her assumptions. I felt angry, almost, that she could even insinuate that a person's choices could override God's law or that God's way was not concrete and could be negotiable, depending on the person's situation or circumstance. I remember saying things like, "You really need to come to church with me"
But, to be totally honest, I was the one more in need of church than she was, because, at least she was sincere in her living. At the time, I was living a completely hypocritical lifestyle. I claimed that I was a "Christian", but I was not living a life pleasing to God. I had my checklist of "dos and don'ts" that satisfied my own conscience, but I was living far from the truth and the grace of the Gospel. Still, I made attempts to drag my heavy "Christian Soap Box" around at the ready, in order to position it just right, so that I could stand on it, firmly, and declare to the world the proper way in which a Child of God should live! In my private life, I made excuses for myself, but in front of an audience, I turned on the "church girl" switch. I was a mess. My life was far from a good example.

Years later, as I cringe to look back at that conversation, and so many others like it, because I realize that I wasn't doing her, myself, or God any favors. In actuality, I was living the life that she described. What right did I have to try and show her "the way", when I wasn't following it myself? I was the one who had deceived myself into thinking that God's word and His ways could be negotiable and that I was exempt from things clearly stated in scripture. I was the hypocrite, because I knew the truth, but rejected it. I knew what was right, but only displayed it in public, for people to see my good deeds. She was living her life in a more honest way than I was. She was not pretending. She was genuine.
During those early college years, I was full of self-righteousness, taking on the impossible burden of trying to lead others to a Jesus that I did not even know or celebrate within my own heart. I was blinded by my own attempts of "goodness" and I was a hindrance to those around me who were sincerely looking for the truth. This is the issue that we face as Christians everyday: There are people who are looking for Christ, but, unfortunately, the examples they often come across are half-hearted, soap box carriers who insist on their own personal truths, lacking the compassion and relationship with Jesus that has the power to save us all!

The scary truth is, so many people are in the "Middle", so to speak, looking for sincerity, truth and a genuine understanding of God. They are searching beyond mere belief and church attendance. Think about those in your own life, who might be among the "Middle": individuals who aspire to know God, yet try to in their own way and in their own efforts; those who are familiar with "Church", but lack a true relationship with Jesus. What about that co-worker who takes pride in her volunteer work, but has no true concept of what it really means to fall in love with Jesus? Think about that relative, who considers themselves a "good person", but doesn't understand the message of the Gospel or the gift of salvation in Christ. Or what about your neighbor, who prays and reads positive messages and engages in affirmations, but can't quite grasp their need for a Savior or their perfection in Him? They are looking for signs and proof of the Truth and guess who God put in their lives to demonstrate it... YOU!!!

As we make our choices and live our lives, let us examine the state of our own hearts, as 2 Corinthians 13:5 tells us to do:

"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?"

Are we passing the test? Are we relying on the Holy Spirit to do good works in us for God, or have we taken on the impossible job of trying to do it ourselves? Are we being true and authentic witnesses in public and in private? Are we sharing the love of Christ with those around us, or are we sharing legalism, denominationalism or worse yet, religion and impossible rituals? Are we hugging, or hurting? Are we giving or judging? Are we offering compassion or condemnation?

The problem with the soap box, as I came to realize, is that it's not strong enough to hold us up forever. Eventually, the weight of our own sin will cause our soap boxes to come crashing down. It's an inadequate stage and a façade. Sooner or later, it will begin to rip and tear and we will fall through. Not so with Jesus! He is consistent, everlasting and our eternal foundation!

There is a world full of hearts that are longing for the blessing of assurance in Christ. They need to know how much the Father loves them (John 3:16; Romans 5:8; 1 John 3:1), how their way might bring destruction but God's way can bring new life (Romans 6: 23; 1 John 1:9) and that they can be eternally sealed in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2: 13; 2 Corinthians 5:7; 2 Corinthians 1: 21-23). This is the good news and hope of the Gospel: not that we have all the answers, but that God provided the answer in Jesus, making a way for us to be pleasing in His sight and providing His love to us, which we can then share with those around us.

It's time to break down our boxes, girls! Don't be afraid to share Jesus with others. There are so many people who are desperate for Him! Let's not keep them waiting!

~Pearls

Like Her Father

Today marks one month since my daughter has been born. It's honestly taken me these past 31 days to analyze, understand and put into words my feelings regarding this amazing miracle. It's incredible to me that, for 268 days, I carried a human being in my body. Oh... how I remember those heavy feelings of discomfort, how my food used to taste like spoons, how putting on a pair of pants was a true accomplishment and all the tears I cried over ice cream and the Disney movie, Mulan! (I could not get enough of that movie!!!)

All in all, my pregnancy was smooth sailing. I didn't get one single stretch mark, I only gained 29 pounds, my husband treated me like a dream and I was able to celebrate with all my dear ones. My hair did not fall out, I didn't get any acne and I can still fit into my original jeans and shoe size! It was a wonderful pregnancy... but a ferocious delivery.
The day she came, it was like a vengeance and during it all, I had to remind myself that my child had purpose and that God would not abandon us now; which He didn't. So, on September 4, 2015, my lovely little lady emerged into the world, with a cry that sounded more like a song; and in that moment of her arrival, I was reminded of all my prayers and hopes for her. My husband kissed me and we gave thanks!

Since that time, I have watched my darling daughter grow. I have entertained countless family and friends who have "oohed" and "awed" over her, and most times, I felt super proud; but I must admit, for the sake of this article and for my efforts of being vulnerable with you all, there were times where a certain comment really got on my nerves: "Oh, she looks just like her Daddy".
"Oh, Katrina, you had nothing to do with this baby did you?"
"Oh, that little girl looks nothing like you!"
"Maybe the next baby will look like, Mommy, cuz this little baby looks just like her Daddy".

Can I vent?.....

Ok, I carried her for 9 months!!!!! My body got big and uncomfortable. I had to go on medication for minor complications that were scary, no less... I was hospitalized. I had to endure an emergency C-section... where is my recognition... WHY Doesn't MY BABY LOOK LIKE ME?????

I remember one afternoon, while she was finally asleep for her nap, I cried out of exhaustion and asked God, "why"? I really did. Imagine... my pride was so large and my ego and vanity so high in the clouds that I actually had the nerve to question God regarding her looks. Never mind her health or her existence, right? I was so wrong in being so upset about her looks, but like the loving Father our God truly is, He gently taught me a lesson in that moment.

"Katrina", the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart, "she looks like her father, because that is how she is suppose to look". And like a light, the profoundness of that truth overwhelmed me and I thanked the Lord for loving me enough to teach me such an impeccable lesson.
See, we are all children of God. Our purpose is to please Him, love like Him and reach others for His

kingdom. In so doing, we begin to look like our Heavenly Father. When I operate in the fullness of my Faith, I look like my Father. When I love, despite being hurt, and live in obedience, no matter how difficult... I look like my Father. When I forgive and pray, when I encourage others and stand up for what is right, I look more and more like my Father. That is the goal and the purpose of each of our individual lives... to look like our Heavenly Father!

Regardless of what we are facing or what we are going through, we must all resolve in our heart of hearts that, if we are to live a life of true meaning, we must choose to reflect the Lord and His goodness, His holiness and His justice towards others. We should all aspire to love like Jesus, live like Jesus and immitate Jesus; by doing so, we begin to resemble the Father and all glory will go to Him, because He has brought us all a mighty long way and wants to use us to reach others of whom He wants to bless as well.
It's easy to recognize this in our prosperous moments, when things are going our way, we naturally want to operate like Jesus and reflect the Father. But, I am realizing that in our storms, in our surgeries, in our dissapointments  and in our discomfort... these are the moments where He wants us to look like Him even more! It seems impossible, but in our weakness He is strong, and has anointed us all, though Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to be the lights in this dark world, reflecting His image and proclaiming His love to everyone we meet and in any situation we may find ourselves in.

In a split second, the Lord convicted my heart and taught me the importance of looking like my Father. Now, when people gasp at how much my baby looks like my husband, I smile and say thank you. Yes, she looks just like her Daddy and one day, through prayer and our commitment to raise her
in the grace of God, she will begin to live a life that will reflect Christ and cause her to look just like her Heavenly Father as well. I pray that I look like the Father , too! I pray that all of our lives will begin to be lived out in efforts to reflect His unfailing love, His beautiful nature and His faithfulness.

When we look like the Father, we look Beautiful!
~Pearls

How to Wear Your Cross

I was watching a tv show the other day and noticed an interesting tattoo on the forearm of one of my favorite characters. The tattoo was a sleek black cross... Only the cross was upside down. Now, I've
seen this symbol many a time before on various artifacts, including clothes, jewelry and posters, but I never truly gave it much thought until I saw it on someone of whom I considered to be talented and influential.

Immediately, I turned to trusty Google to explore the meaning of the symbol and I came across some

interesting paradoxes. The cross, in its upright position, is a symbol of the Power of God through Jesus. It is a representation of the changed life of the Christian and the gift of spiritual Salvation for
those who believe. The upside down cross is also a powerful symbol; the original meaning, also known as the Petrine cross or the inverted cross, was used (centuries ago) as a strong Christian symbol to represent love and humility; as it was purposed to honor the Apostle Perer who chose to be crucified upside down, so not to die in the same way as Jesus did. He did not deem himself worthy to be martyred in the likeness of Christ, and has been honored throughout the centuries for his humble spirit and unconventional style of death. So, according to it's original context, the upright cross represents power and the inverted cross represents love and humility. Comforting meanings aren't they?! Unfortunately, there is a counterfeit interpretation, as well.
The other meaning for the inverted cross, which I'm sure most of us are more familiar with, is its symbol with the occult and the demonic. Many horror movies incorporate the symbol to give homage to satanic powers and darkness. Atheists also identify with the symbol of the upside down cross because they interpret it as an expression of their denial of Christ and a godless belief.It's creepy, I admit. Even as I was searching for images to display on this post, I was really weirded out. The sight of some of the pictures even made me shudder!

After reading a few articles on the matter, I was left with a dramatic and impressionable thought: it is so imparitive that we conduct ourselves to the fullness of Christ, least our "symbol" - our lifestyle, be misinterpreted as something dark and contrary to what its original purpose was meant to be. Now, despite how culture chooses to interpret and reinvent symbols, beliefs and customs, the original meaning and purpose remains the same: the "N" word will always have roots in offense, no matter how much our generation may argue it. A man will always be a man, no matter how many surgeries he undertakes and a white woman will genetically always be white, despite her use of weave and tanning spray. The cross, inverted or not, is the same: it will forever represent the Power of God in Christ, through the Holy Spirit, regardless of man's attempt to reinvent it. However, the manner in which it is displayed can in fact nullify it's meaning to onlookers who are not familiar with it's origin of purpose. Those who do not know the cross are easily influenced by alternative meanings. And that is where we come in... as the carriers of Christ and as His representatives, we must take heed and precaution to be sure that on lookers see us as a symbol of God's power, love and humility, and not as a symbol of denial and godlessness.

Let me explain what I mean through some questions to consider:
Is it possible that a guy can walk away disappointed and disillusioned in someone's behavior because he initially considered someone to be a wholesome Christian woman, only to observe her engaging in compromising outfits, Facebook pictures and poor lifestyle choices? Sure, she may be a Christian, but what is the symbol of her life portraying to him?

Or, how might our co-workers' perception of Christ change if they see us praying in the break room and then gossiping in the parking lot?

What about our friends who see us as a strong Christian woman, only to one day discover that we aren't practicing what we preach- making excuses for short comings, participating in affairs that are contrary to Christ and tolerating what is contrary to scripture?

What about our families? Do they see us giving, sacrificing and loving others at church and in our communities, yet showing contempt for them within our homes?

There are so many more scenarios we could consider, but I think we all get the point. The truth is, Christians aren't perfect. We make mistakes and fall short in one area or another, every day. There will never be a 24 hour period where a Believer gets it all right. There are lies to confess, forgiveness to be granted, gossip to apologize for and schedules to be re-organized in order to make time for spending with the Lord. Thank God for His Grace and Mercy, right? Amen! Yet, despite the common "church" knowledge that no Christian is perfect, the world is looking for exactly that! They hear "Christian" and automatically, their magnifying glasses come out! We are constantly under so much scrutiny to uphold Christ in our daily lives, it seems exhausting at times! Sometimes, I just want to shout, "I AM NOT PERFECT!!!!! Stop judging me to a standard that is impossible to keep!"
Am I alone in this? Probably not. The issue however, is not in how the world perceives us, but in how we are willing (or unwilling) to purpose in our hearts to portray Christ in a manner that says, "Less of me and more of Jesus".

I think all of us have had experiences a time or two in living an inverted life- a life of compromise. In lay men's terms, hypocrite is the best definition. Like the inverted cross, our original purpose can become twisted when people see us as unauthentic and insincere. When we decide to live as "More of me and less of Jesus", we portray our cross contrary to its original purpose and the world sees that and considers that to be the true symbol.
It's easy to have the independent mindset that other people's opinions of us is not our problem or concern, but scripture teaches otherwise. In fact, according to the Bible, it should be one of our top priorities to be conscious of how our lives are depicted and perceived by those around us.
Philippians 2:3 states, "...in humility consider others above yourself". 
In her study, "Children of the Day", Beth Moore teaches that independence against the opinions of others is a sign of spiritual immaturity. The mature and effective Christan understands that her example could make or break someone's understanding, interest and acceptance of Christ. She is not willing to compromise herself because she recognizes the eternal risks that could ensue and the damage that she could cause in the lives of those who are watching her, should she slack in one spiritual area or another. In her heart and mind, she has resolved to forsake all for Christ and His calling and glory. She is not willing to compromise or display her relationship with Jesus as hypocrisy because she knows what is at stake!

Ladies, there is an entire world whose eyes are on us! We are influential in our world and in our community, weather we want to be, or not. There are people who come from faithless homes, looking to us for an example of genuine living. There are those whose hearts are broken and are searching for a true example of love and grace in our lifestyle. There are even people who don't believe, yet hope to one day, and so watch us carefully to decide if Christ is even worth their time to explore. The pressure on our lives is not to be perfect, but it is for us to point to a perfect God by the examples that we set and the lives that we live! We can claim that we represent Christ, that our goals are Godly and that our hearts are pure; but when the world sees our cross, do they see it as a symbol of the miraculous? Do they see the Petrine symbol of love and humility, like Peter, or do they see a symbol of a godless lifestyle and empty religion?

I'd like to leave you with this last scripture, also found in Philippians chapter 2:
"become blameless and pure, "children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky."- Philippians 2:15

The purpose of the stars is to help light up the darkness. We are called to be stars and light in this dark culture! The world around us is looking for a hope, a genuine display of who God truly is and, regardless of what they might say, they are truly hoping that you are the real deal! It's not enough to want to shine, we have to be willing and strive to shine, no matter the cost. "Less of me and more of Christ", should be our daily anthem. The world is counting on you to wear your cross as it was intended. They need to see that this symbol of a life lived in power, love and humility is not godless, after all.

Weather upright or inverted...Cary your crosses in the manner in which it was purposed!

~Pearls

Polished

There is an aura of relaxation and self-preservation connected to the feminine experience of the Nail Salon. It's a place of comfort and refuge from a hectic day at work, or an apparatus of expectation- the middle ground between the ordinary and the fabulous. For most women, there is something pleasurably satisfying about leaving the nail salon with a  fresh mani-pedi. You walked in with dull, chipped, peeling color, only to leave with fresh, clean and shining nails. It's a wonderful feeling. It's a lot like our Spiritual process. Let me explain.

There was once a time when I used to do my own nails. Convinced that I was saving money for other things and reluctant to become dependent on someone else, I casually purchased cheap polishes that averaged around $6 dollars or so. I had an entire collection of vivid colors. I kept my nails trimmed and had cotton balls on hand. I would take my time to touch each finger tip and patiently wait for the coat to dry. The end results were pretty... but sadly, extremely temporary. There were even instances where I had to re-do my nails twice in one day or suffer the "crack-effect", due to my cheapness. So, one day, I decided to stop shopping at Walmart for my nail color. I would, instead, invest in more salon quality nail products. I began to pay the $12 dollar fee for more expensive brands and I even invested in a top coat. The laquer and upgrade in quality really made a difference! It had more of a luster in appearance, maintained it's condition for almost twice the time as the cheaper brands and it seemed to me that I was still able to hold onto my own ability to appease my appearance and control of my wallet. Although there were definitely notable positives to my nail polish upgrade, the higher quality came with some side effects. For one, the wait time for drying took much longer and since I did not have my own nail dryer, often enough I ended up waisting time and product due to reapplication of one finger or another because of smudges, scrapes and demarkations. See, the more expensive polishes require more drying time. It may have appeared to be dry on the outside, but the undercoats were often times still damp, unbeknownst to me. Another side effect was the new fumes. Cheap polish doesn't carry as heavy a smell as more salon quality polishes. It took me a while to get used to whiffs of colored chemicals, which of course was accompanied by the need to use stronger nail polish removers. These side effects obviously didn't chase me away from doing my own nails, but over time, it became a hassle.

Friends of mine would urge me to go to the salon with them. I always would insist, however, that I didn't need to. I knew how to do my own nails. I was saving my time and money... but was I really? Probably not. Considering the time alone that it took to apply, re-apply, remove and apply again due to smears and smudges, chips and cracks, I ended up waisting more money than I actually saved and Lord only know how much time it cost me! But in my mind, I was convinced that I could do it on my own. I remember the first time I stepped foot into a nail salon, I was a skeptic. I honestly had no desire to be there, but after numerous invitations, I finally accompanied my friend Kourtney one day after classes. She wanted me to join in the seat next to her, but I declined. I didn't need someone else to do for me what I thought I could do for myself. I felt self-sufficient, but I watched as she placed her hands into the palms of the lady across from her. They had friendly conversation with each other, as the women stripped away the old color and prepared her hands for the new. The women were friendly and very attentive. They helped my friend choose her color, complimented her on her selection, massaged her hands and feet, shared laughs and stories and within an hour, her nails and toes were done. I was astonished to learn that she was able to keep the same color for 2 weeks! I remember glancing down at my nails, shiny, but already cracking; but that initial visit wasn't enough for me to change my mind. Leaving that nail salon, I felt intrigued because it wasn't just about nails... it was an entire experience that my friend could look forward to. It was an opportunity to be taken care of by professionals who made a job feel like an art. She was well taken care of. I secretly became curious about what that might be like for me.

Occasionally, I would go back to the Salon with Kourt... but only to accompany her. I wouldn't order
any services for myself. Even when a lady once urged me to let her take care of me, I kindly said, "no thank you", but really, I wanted to say, "ok". It did look very relaxing and beneficial, I just wasn't willing to part with my own routine of doing things my way. I didn't need her to do something that I could do for myself; or so I thought. It was honestly years before I got desperate enough to venture into a nail salon on my own. I had finally gotten so frustrated with trying to manage myself in my own hands. My left hand was always shaky, causing my right nails to look a hot mess. Cracks seemed to magically appear, no matter how much of a top coat I would use and chips and smudges were inevitable! The moment I felt satisfied with my own work, something would smudge or I'd accidentally knock my hand on the counter and ruin my hard efforts. After a few days, the polish would chip and loose it's shine. It was a mess! I was frustrated.
The first time I went to get my nails done, I'll never forget it. It was for an interview and I wanted to feel confident. I was nervous because I didn't want to pay a ridiculous fee and I was afraid that it would be a waist of time. I was hesitant to trust a stranger to make me look good. What if she was rude and started to speak a different language around me? What if they didn't have any colors that I liked? What if they were expensive? What if, after all the time and money, my nails still chipped? I had all these doubts in my mind, but I figured I should at least give it a try; why not? As I sat in the warm leather chair and chose my services, I can honestly say, the experience delighted me so much that I regret ever taking so long to try it! the women were friendly, diligent and had loads of suggestions. The woman who helped me was very bubbly and sweet and has never forgotten my name. I've been seeing Mrs. Lee for over 2 years now. She knows all about my career, my favorite colors, my sweet marriage and my pregnancy. I know about her home life in Cambodia, all three of her children, how she and her husband started this business from nothing and we have developed some funny jokes between the two of us. Not to mention, my nails are healthy and strong and always very pristine! For years, I was missing out on such a comforting and enjoyable experience, although I didn't even know it.

Many people, convinced that they can do life by themselves, miss out on the wonderful experience of

knowing Jesus. They think that putting their trust in the Lord is a waist of time. They see their friends or family going to church and reading the Bible, they might even join in on a service every now and then or pray when they need assistance, but in their minds, they have control over their own lives and they really don't feel the need for help from God or anybody else. They might notice things here and there in their lives that aren't up to par, so in their own attempts they try to upgrade themselves, just like I tried to upgrade my polish products. For a while, it seems to do the trick for them. They might go on a non-drinking fast for a couple of weeks, no-sex for the first few dates, they might try to loose weight or try a new hobby, quite a bad habit or change their wardrobe; so many attempts for their own personal self-maintenance, but it's only temporary. On the outside, it may appear that life is good, but underneath their top coat, stuff is still wet and unfinished. Like my nails, the cracks in life eventually begin to surface. They get hit with unexpected events that cause smudges and demarkations in their plans to stay in control. No matter how hard they try and no matter how many different upgrades, changes, investments and alterations they make, it still isn't enough and they begin to question their abilities. Those who have the heart of wisdom eventually come to the understanding that they cannot change their hearts on their own; they cannot maintain the God standard in their own efforts. Others continue to wander, trying this product or that technique, never truly finding satisfaction. We all were once there and I thank God for all the spiritual Kourtneys that aren't afraid to invite us into places of love and offer us the opportunity to experience what it's like to put our lives in the hands of someone who is more capable of governing us than we are.

In our own efforts, we think we are saving ourselves; but truly, we are just waisting time. Going round and round in circles of our own efforts, our control, our abilities and our way only leads to a life lacking in luster and full of chipped frustration. But when we allow ourselves to trust in the Lord, place our faith in His suggestions for our lives, rest ourselves in His ability to color our hearts with His love and relax in the joy of the experience of Salvation, well... that's when we really start to shine!

Ephesians 2:8 tells us that Salvation (being accepted by God) will never happen in our own efforts. Instead, God invites us to come to Him, through Jesus, to experience His love and life changing power that we can never attain on our own. It is a gift, a treasure, a permanent establishment of His presence and His perfection in our lives. No, we will never be perfect. The smudges of our past might always grip our minds, but in Jesus, they don't have the power to grip our lives. He asks us for our chipped hearts and smudged up lives, in exchange for his permanent radiance and eternal coat of glory! Christ calls to each of us, saying:
 "Come, take a seat. Give me your hands...give me your heart...give me your life. I have big plans for you! I have desires to make you shine and radiate in this world and in the next! You don't have to live in frustration any more. I know you are trying to improve yourself. I know you are afraid of letting go of control. You think you have found a short cut, but it only has you running in circles. Let me message your messes out of your life. Let me wash you with the water of my word. Let me give you a new life, one that will not fade away or loose its shine over ime. Let me coat you with my joy, my peace, my confidence and my hope. Let me laugh with you and share my heart with you. I have much to offer you that you could never acquire on your own. Trust me. Give me your hands...give me your heart...give me your life."


He wants so much more than to just change your exterior or the color of your experiences; He wants to change your life and polish your heart! He wants to establish a beauty within you that will not fade or peel away. Will you let Him? I pray that you do! I pray that we all will one day fully understand and experience how Salvation can polish our lives and radiate our existence with the eternal luster that only comes from knowing Jesus!

Trust Him with your hands...with your heart and with your life! I promise, you will not be disappointed.
~Pearls

4 Ways to Know That It's From God!

As of late, the girls and I have been leveling in discussions centered around prayer. Yes, we pray together and individually... we've even covered the topic in a 7 week study last year. But regardless of your confidence, familiarity or consistent practice of prayer, it will always hold some element of mystery because it is one of the only purely spiritual concepts that God has given us access to. Prayer is not a topic one can study too much of. No one can master it, because it is not man made or man-willed. No one can explain it, because it is solely and directly operated by the Holy Spirit. Even the disciples were perplexed on the matter, asking Jesus, "how should we pray?" (Luke 11:1). These men spent time with Jesus, listened to his teachings and had direct access to ask of him any question they wished, yet still they struggled in the matter of prayer. The Bible also tells us that sometimes we do not know what to pray for, so in those cases, the Spirit will lead us and take over for us (Romans 8: 26-27) and we are told to ask of the Lord boldly (Hebrews 4:16) and in confidence in the name of Jesus (John 16:24).

But what happens when you pray for things and concerns, hopes and directions, and are actually given them and not sure what to do? What happens if what you pray for comes to pass but instead of peace, you wrestle with confusion? What happens if you are not ready or don't know which way to turn? This was a question posed by one of our Pearls just last week:
"I've prayed for so long to get accepted into school and for marriage. Now my boyfriend and I are seriously talking about getting married and I am almost done with my education. I feel overwhelmed. I know that I prayed for this, but now that it's here, I feel very unprepared".

How many times have we all had the feeling of being overwhelmed or unprepared? I know I have, constantly...even currently! We all have gone through areas of life's terrain with seemingly blind faith,  no discernment and no real confidence and even hints of confusion; each of which does not come from God. How many times do we ALL experience this- both in the negative and in the positive? I'm not saying that my friend (or any of us, for that matter) should dismiss opportunities because we feel unprepared or overwhelmed; many times that's where true and concentrated faith must step into place. But we need to examine everything to be sure that we are walking in God's will, before we endeavor in opportunities or what we might consider to be an answered prayer. Scripture tells us that God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33),  yet how many times have we found ourselves in what appears to be a very positive opportunity, only to teeter regarding weather to accept it or not? I mean, if it's a good thing, doesn't that automatically make it a blessing from God? If it is able to make me happy, shouldn't that be the choice I make? Shouldn't I follow my heart and do what I think is best for me? If I prayed about it and it happens, isn't that proof that it came from God?
These questions, and others like them, I'm sure, are all thoughts we've pondered at some point in our lives. To us, it makes sense, but is that what scripture says? Actually, no. Scripture teaches the exact opposite. Instead of looking inward, we must look outward. When we consider how to be sure that a seemingly answered prayer is God ordained, let's ponder 4 things: 1) Will this opportunity give glory to God? 2) Does this opportunity Benefit others or just myself? 3) Will this opportunity build my character and faith in the Lord? and 4) Is this opportunity uncompromising with scripture?

When we receive from God, it is God that should be getting the glory. Not ourselves. It is His will that should be our main concern, to please Him and not us. 1 Peter 4:2 tells us to live our lives for the will of God. It may seem unfair to us, but remember, as His ambassadors and as His lights in the world, our joy is to shine for Him! In this way, others will notice His goodness in our lives and seek Him for themselves. That is the whole point! The Lord has chosen you and I to show Himself off! WE are his trophies. But if we become our own trophies, seeking our own glory, then we are in error of idolatry and of robbing God. "But I'm not seeking my own glory", you might insist. Well great! Let's be sure that we know what glory really means. Webster states that glory is to "be in high regard, honor, noticed, to receive attention for one's actions; distinctive; to receive notoriety". Are there any opportunities we've seized in order to acquire any such things for ourselves? I'll be the first to confess, "yes". There have been opportunities that have come my way which I've responded to as, "wait till "they" see this" or "this will definitely make me stand out". Am I alone? Did I just completely expose the nature of my true intentions at times... yes, I did. To be honest, we all have...we're human. But when we are asking of God, it must be to give HIM ALL these things. Sometimes, a good opportunity could be just as distracting and dangerous as a bad one, if the results take away from God in an effort (known or unknown) to add attention to our selves.

If we can positively say, "I know that this opportunity will allow me to give glory back to God", then that is wonderful. But don't go racing towards that opportunity just yet; let's examine who it will help. Now, not to discourage  any of us, but we have to be so sure that our requests are with pure motives; meaning that they are not for selfish gain. James 4:3 calls it "asking amiss...for your own pleasures". When we ask, we ought not do so for our own personal benefit, only. Instead, we must be in search of how our prayers can allow us to be effective in God's kingdom. For example, I shouldn't run myself into debt and then ask God for a new job, knowing that I only want more money to acquire more things. Or, I should not see someone's new car and become jealous and ask the Lord to bless me in the same manner. It's immature to ask God for marriage so that I can sport a wedding ring and guilt-free sex and if my intentions for entrepreneurship are to collect my own riches without thought to those in need, well then I am praying amiss. Philippians 2:3 tells us to do nothing out of selfish ambition, but to value and consider others above ourselves. There is nothing wrong with going after things that will add to your life; but when your life becomes your main concern- when sharing, giving back, reaching out and extending assistance to others becomes a foreign concept in your attempts for opportunity, then that is a red flag and a warning that we are out of God's will. Regardless, however, if we are honest, we can look back and admit that there are moments when our intentions are self-centered, yet God allows us to have access to these opportunities any way. Is this because He is not concerned about our selfishness? Not at all. Many times, it is an opportunity to expose our true hearts to ourselves. He already knows what's inside of us. Often times, we are the ones who have no clue about the silent intentions that we privately cary (Jeremiah 17:9). If you find yourself being the only one who benefits from your opportunities and prayers, begin to ask God to show you how you can share your blessings and opportunities with others who may benefit more than you.

The third thing to considered when receiving opportunities or what might seem like an answer to prayer, is whether or not it will impact our growth and spiritual walk with Christ. In every area of our lives in Christ, we should be growing... not stabilizing, not maintaining and definitely not regressing. We should be moving forward in Christ, through our character and our faith. Every challenge, blessing and opportunity should contribute to growth in Christ. If we are not growing, then we are being hindered and hindrances in Christ never comes from God. We must operate with maturity in recognizing that not all hindrances come in the form of negative experiences. There are some seemingly good things that can hinder us in Christ! Examples of positive hindrances could include a new promotion at work that provides extra money, but requires us to sacrifice attending worship services or Bible study; a new boyfriend who distracts you from your involvement in Christ-centered things; even a simple TV show  or movie that demonstrates un-Christ-like behaviors as if it is permissible or cute. These examples and many more take away from our growth and if we are not growing, then we most definitely aren't pleasing God. He will never approve of anything that will take our attention off of Him and sabotage the good work He is desiring to complete in us! 1 Corinthians 14: 26 tells us to only do those things that will build up our faith and character. Examples of such include attending church and Bible studies regularly, connecting ourselves in Christ-focused friendships, studying scripture and encouraging others, reaching out to those in need, looking for ways to show love and simply just shining our lights. These build our faith. These do not take away from Christ or his plan in our lives. Any seemingly positive thing that might hinder faith and growth is something to be completely avoided, that is in fact if we have resolved in our hearts to live for Jesus.

The last to consider when taking or not taking advantage of opportunities that might come our way is whether or not it is supported by scripture. Now, here is where it can sometimes seem tricky. What if the Bible doesn't say anything about a new car or social media or college or in-laws or house hunting or job promotions? What if what you are going through is not mentioned in the Bible? Well, it may not be mentioned verbatim, but trust me... it IS in the Bible. The Bible is so practical and full of every solution you could ever possibly encounter. From relationships, to business arrangements, farming and agriculture, philosophy, anthropology, philanthropy, finances, sex... you name it, it's in there! But the key is to actually read it. You cannot say, "the Bible doesn't explain this or that", if you've never attempted to find it. It's unfair to say, "the Bible was written in olden days. It isn't modern. It can't help me". Well, even in the olden days, people lived, studied, worked, got married, made babies, started businesses, went to court, threw parties, had break ups, had arguments, got arrested, created fashion, made investments, buried loved ones and received promotions . There is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Scripture is the one solid source for every human experience because it was written by the One who created humans in the first place. If you have a concern about what God wants you to do regarding an opportunity or a prayer request that you feel is being answered, go to His word! He will never tell you one thing in scripture and then contradict Himself in your life. His will is His word and His word is His will! It will not steer you wrong. What's amazing about our generation is that you don't even have to be a Bible scholar to investigate God's word or inquire of His will! You can use the good-ole internet... how convenient! If you're one who doesn't know the difference between Genesis and Revelations, use Bible search engines like Biblehub.net or Biblegateway.com. You can type in any topic and they will automatically provide you with multiple scriptures to help you navigate your choices! We are without excuse. Media makes it possible to be in God's word, even when a Bible is not near by. As you spend time in God's word, He will begin to illuminate Himself to you, giving you confidence and faith in Him. Scripture will always eliminate doubt and confusion. It is the one stop shop for any answers you could ever have. After reading God's word, close out in prayer- asking Him to help you apply it to your life. I promise, you will see a big change if you stay consistent.

In our walks with Jesus, we are constantly called to make decisions for Christ: to love him through obedience or to reject him through our efforts of self-gratification. I wish so desperately that there was middle ground, but scripture tells us that there is not (Matthew 6:24). In our prayer lives, we have to be sure that we are aligning our requests with God's word, to assure us that we are in His will and that our prayers are pleasing to Him. We may not always receive the "yes" that we hope for, but we are guaranteed an answer that we will not be confused by. If you are feeling overwhelmed by circumstances that you have prayed for, seek the Lord to determine if in fact it is His will or if it was just a timely opportunity that you accepted due to your personal agenda. There is no need to feel ashamed. We are human and we have the habit of eagerly swinging the door open when opportunity comes knocking. But just because it seems beneficial doesn't not mean that it is God's ordained purpose for your life. In everything, we must seek Him first, before we take a step to the right or to the left. If you struggle with confusion over a choice or what seems to be a blessing, be assured that our God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). Regardless of how appealing it may seem, consider if it is: 1) Glorifying God, 2)Beneficial to others and not just yourself, 3) a true opportunity to build your character and faith, and lastly 4) Uncompromising with scripture. If you cannot say yes to all 4 of these check points, then I suggest getting back on your knees and seeking the Lord. I promise, it is His joy to make His will clear to us! He will not steer you wrong and you will have a peace in your heart...without any confusion or doubts regarding answered prayer!


Seek the Lord in ALL things!
~Pearls

Pearls of Hope: A Glimpse at our Tuesday Meetings

Happy Sunday, everyone! As you are preparing for your day, please take some time to check out our latest youtube video! As you watch, you will get a sneak peak of what goes on every Tuesday evening in our Bible Studies! We are extremely excited to share with you our journey with Jesus and we pray that we will be an encouragement to you as you travel through your own path with the Lord!

If you have any questions or topics that you would like us to address, please feel free to add any comments or suggestions! We are here to support you and each other! Remember, Jesus has HUGE plans for you! You are not alone and we love you!

~Pearls

Serving Others

There are two types of people in the world: Those who serve and those who need serving. Each can't do without the other. The server needs someone to serve and the one being served needs someone who is available and willing to serve them. In our lives, we can see patterns of when we have played the role of one or there other. It is a balance and a joy to be active on either of the two sides. The server enjoys the gratitude that comes from the appreciation of the served; the served enjoys the selflessness that comes from what the server bestows. And thus lies the impact of Christian living: to be a servant to others and share the gifts that God so graciously serves to us, each and every day!

Yesterday, the girls and I had the highest privilege of serving Greensboro's homeless community through our participation in Service Under the Bridge; launched by the 16 Cent Ministry. Even our guys came out to support! It was a scorching hot day. Sweat dripped from every area of the body and there was not a fan in sight. Yet, it was such a beautiful experience and as I watched the crowds form and offered spoon full of cole slaw, I reflected on the goodness of God! How he loves us all! No matter where we come from, or our economic status, we are dearly loved by our creator!


With blue gloves on and smiles offered, we hugged new friends, shared laughs with strangers, made hot dogs with chili and passed out cold water bottles. Some people gave thanks, others took their food quietly, but regardless of the reaction, it was evident that lives were touched... especially ours!

I was so proud to serve along side my Pearls yesterday! Their love and beauty shone like the stars underneath that dark and uncomfortable bridge. I truly saw Jesus at work within us all and I pray that our Savior was pleased!
I challenge you all to find a way to serve someone this week! It could be in a little effort, like helping a stranger with a task. Or maybe you know of someone whom you could anonymously pay a bill for.
The sky is the limit when it comes to serving, and the reward is everlasting!

If you and your group would like to participate in Service Under the Bridge, or if you would like to come solo, please visit this website for more information. Who knows... maybe we'll see you out there next time!
http://www.16centsministry.org

Serve with your whole heart! Be Jesus in someone's life!

~Pearls

True Friends

When I was a child, I changed friends like dirty clothes. Sometimes, due to someone moving to a new city or a new school, other times because of childhood drama that came and go as often as the sun rises and sets.
In High School, I was the odd man out (uh...girl). I didn't quite fit in. I didn't really belong. My friends were those who, like me, stood out too much to blend in with this clique or that group. Ours was a comrodare of existence, not necessarily of similarity; so, once High School was over, so was our friendships.
Upon entering college, my goal was to make friends! I wanted to be popular. I wanted to belong! I wanted to go to parties and out on dates. I wanted to be "cool" and I thought the key was in blending in with the crowd. But that was short lived and left me very unsatisfied. I had to change myself to fit in, and eventually, it became too much of an effort for me to keep up such a facade. I grew tired and irritated with myself, as did everyone around me. One by one, I lost every friend that I tried so hard to change myself for... and I lost myself in the process.

Fast forward eight years after college, I now know the worth that God has given me. I know understand and appreciate His calling over my life and His gift of Salvation, through Jesus. Once I began to grow in Him and keep my heart in His word, He began to bring people into my life who could love me, for who He made me to be! I can smile to myself at the miracle of true friendships that Christ has surrounded me with.
We all come from different backgrounds, life experiences and testimonies. We all have different hopes for the future and goals for our lives, but what we do have in common is Jesus! We don't take from each other, rather we invest in one another. We love, lift up, correct and support one another, all for the sake of Jesus. I don't have to be someone I'm not. I can be me: quirky, sensitive and silly, with a dash of vanity! I can confess my short comings with out being rejected and I can extend my advice, knowing that it falls on hearts who appreciate me. Isn't it a wonder how, when we begin to seek God with all our hearts, he ushers in people who can love us the way He does!

Last night, I celebrated my birthday with all of my friends! It was the first birthday for me that included a group of people, happy to see me and eager to love me! I cry as I write this, because it's taken me a lifetime to enjoy and experience this kind of closeness with other women in a mature and mutual way. I don't say this to hurt any of my friends from the past, but I see a difference between Christian friendships and those based off of other interests. In Christ, I have security and my friendships fall right in line with that. In Christ, I have purpose, a hope and a future; my sisters in Christ remind me of that in every hug, every laugh, every conversation and yes, even in every argument. I see Jesus in them and I experience that unconditional love through my friendships with them. They make me want to strive harder in Christ! They make me want to push myself to shine my light for the Lord!

If you don't know what it's like to have a strong core group of Christian friends, let me encourage you to ask the Lord for some. I know there are thousands of women out there, searching for like minded people to walk this journey with. God will connect you to the right people, you just have to ask him for the guidance and direction to find them!

As I close this note, I want to just tell all my Pearls how much I love them! (I LOVE YOU!!!) I'm so thankful for each and every one of you! Thank you for being a part of my journey with Jesus! Thank you for sharing your lives and your hearts with me! Thank you for loving my husband and I and thank you for encouraging me to rock my life for Christ! You girls are an answered prayer, and I don't think you will ever know how much you all truly mean to me!

I love you, Pearls!

~Katrina