using words and actions in a casual or disrespectful manner towards someone; dissing a friend; coming for someone.
Synonyms: gossip; slander
-Urban Dictionary
SHADE!!!!! We all throw it from time to time- from one end of the room to the other (either knowingly or unknowingly). It's funny, though, right? Best served over a beverage with friends, or on the phone when there is nothing better to do.
"But did she use a mirror first?"
"I guess that's clearly over!"
"Let me sip my tea, while I don't help her this time!"
"No shade, but where did she get those clothes?"
Literally, I am even giggling now with thoughts of shade I've over heard or even thrown, myself!
We all know what gossip is, of course, and that is exactly what shade is! Its a gossip when done in private, and slander when done in public. It happens when we say rude, condescending and mean things about people, either out of entertainment or out of bitterness. It can happen on purpose or out of instinctive reaction and it can occur in different forms: When we tell a secret with the intensions of entertaining ourselves with someone else's business or if we spread a half-truth or a whole truth that no one really needs to know about.
It's one thing to be informative, but another thing to share information that is unnecessary, unhelpful and unkind. So, basically, our motive determines whether information crosses the line between truth and shade.
The Bible has plenty to say about the topic:
"A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much". (Proverbs 20:19)
"Do not go about spreading slander among your people". (Leviticus 19:16) "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth". (Ephesians 4:29)
Any of us who have the gift of gab or who enjoy a good laugh with friends, have found ourselves at one time or another, involved in a Shade exchange. Based off of the scriptures we just reviewed, we know this is wrong, but the Bible doesn't stop with "thou shalt not".... It also provides us with positive alternatives.
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
"Do not return evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For, the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from speaking deceit." (1 Peter 3: 9-10)
There are multiple consequences when we speak unkindly, but the sad part is that throwing shade has become an intricate part of our daily conversations. In fact, we are practically encouraged to act shady, be shady and find shady people whom we can be shady with! Thats one of the reasons why TV shows like The Real Housewives are so popular! We, as a culture, enjoy the loom of shade! But, in reality, it has the unfortunate disposition of ruining relationships, trust and feelings. We can swear that we mean no harm, but does harm hurt less when it's unintended? I wonder... if we were to ever walk in on a shade fest in our honor, would we truly be honored by the words we would hear? I'd like to think that the answer would be, "no".
Engaging with one another in love, in encouragement and in motivation requires cleaning up our language, weather it be cussing, gossip, lying or SHADE. This might be the hardest challenge, because words are sometimes expressed without thought. In the moment, we may not even realize how it is coming across or the damage that our words can potentially have on ourselves or others. James 3:8 tells us that no one can "tame the tongue".
"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26).
Basically, what this means is that our words mirror our hearts. If we say we love God, that we care about others, that our hearts have good intentions, then this will be exposed by the words we use and say. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). This is why, on a daily basis, we must ask the Lord to search our hearts and know our thoughts (Psalm 139:23). If we are to be people of excellence and women with standard, then the Shade has got to go. And this is done by filling our hearts with beautiful thoughts, lovely words and pure intentions.
The changing of our hearts, our words and our motives is not an automatic process. It takes intentional attempts and consistency in motivation. We must seek out opportunities to speak well and kind, and avoid opportunities to throw shade. So, this week, lets all take the challenge to tell a friend, a co-worker or a family member how much you appreciate them. Give compliments and positive messages. Send someone an encouraging note. Tell somebody you're thinking about them. Trade in the shade for something that will be uplifting and encouraging. Let people know that you are praying for them and show them how much you care! If you see an issue or a need, don't talk about them or make jokes at their expense, ask them if there is any way you could help. There are all kinds of ways to "be kind and compassionate to one another." In this way, we are building our relationships, not tearing them down!
Speak well, my loves. Speak truth, speak life and do it all to the glory of God!
~Pearls
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
"Do not return evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For, the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from speaking deceit." (1 Peter 3: 9-10)
There are multiple consequences when we speak unkindly, but the sad part is that throwing shade has become an intricate part of our daily conversations. In fact, we are practically encouraged to act shady, be shady and find shady people whom we can be shady with! Thats one of the reasons why TV shows like The Real Housewives are so popular! We, as a culture, enjoy the loom of shade! But, in reality, it has the unfortunate disposition of ruining relationships, trust and feelings. We can swear that we mean no harm, but does harm hurt less when it's unintended? I wonder... if we were to ever walk in on a shade fest in our honor, would we truly be honored by the words we would hear? I'd like to think that the answer would be, "no".
Engaging with one another in love, in encouragement and in motivation requires cleaning up our language, weather it be cussing, gossip, lying or SHADE. This might be the hardest challenge, because words are sometimes expressed without thought. In the moment, we may not even realize how it is coming across or the damage that our words can potentially have on ourselves or others. James 3:8 tells us that no one can "tame the tongue".
"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" (James 1:26).
Basically, what this means is that our words mirror our hearts. If we say we love God, that we care about others, that our hearts have good intentions, then this will be exposed by the words we use and say. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). This is why, on a daily basis, we must ask the Lord to search our hearts and know our thoughts (Psalm 139:23). If we are to be people of excellence and women with standard, then the Shade has got to go. And this is done by filling our hearts with beautiful thoughts, lovely words and pure intentions.
The changing of our hearts, our words and our motives is not an automatic process. It takes intentional attempts and consistency in motivation. We must seek out opportunities to speak well and kind, and avoid opportunities to throw shade. So, this week, lets all take the challenge to tell a friend, a co-worker or a family member how much you appreciate them. Give compliments and positive messages. Send someone an encouraging note. Tell somebody you're thinking about them. Trade in the shade for something that will be uplifting and encouraging. Let people know that you are praying for them and show them how much you care! If you see an issue or a need, don't talk about them or make jokes at their expense, ask them if there is any way you could help. There are all kinds of ways to "be kind and compassionate to one another." In this way, we are building our relationships, not tearing them down!
Speak well, my loves. Speak truth, speak life and do it all to the glory of God!
~Pearls
