My friends and I often have these discussions about relationships, marriage, dating in purity and waiting on the Lord. There are books, social communities, advice columns and magazine articles to help guide us to "the one" but, to honestly put it, there is no absolute solution, remedy or proof to determine the sure fired way of procuring love. Dating sites are not a guarantee, racing towards the pew to get a good seat by the cute guy in church is as silly as it is disappointing and reaching to get a good look at the guy in the checkout line in front of you, only to see that he already has a wedding ring, is just plain embarrassing! Truth be told, looking for love can be exhausting and frustrating. Yet, for the believer, we know that love is not based solely on only acquiring it, but also on offering it, as well.
Trust me...I know the highs of relationships and the deafening lows, but through it all, God has been faithful! Within my 10 year window frame of dating, I experienced countless heartbreaks, broken hopes and burning tears. I'd been rejected, cheated on, lied to and ashamed. But God is good!
About the age of 24, I found myself at a place where I needed direction, because my own impatience and attempts for love were failing miserably. I remember my mother telling me, "Trina", until you fall in love with Jesus, you will never understand or appreciate how God created you to be loved".This coming Monday, my husband and I will be celebrating our second year of marriage. For 3 years, we dated in purity: I was a virgin, he was practicing celibacy and we were determined to stay committed in obedience. I was 28 years old when I walked down the isle and I am thankful for such an incredible blessing!
Through it all, my mother's words never left me... there came a day when I realized that I HAD to learn to fall in love with Jesus! His love illuminates our understanding of what true love was intended to be. In other words, the world has it's version of love, but it will never fulfill us. It is temporary and contingent. It is self seeking and based upon carnal emotions that are here today and gone tomorrow. But the love that comes from God is eternal and when we trust our love to Him, he brings us someone who will not only understand God's love, himself, but will also be experienced enough to share that same love with us. He won't be perfect: there will be mistakes and struggles, let downs and misunderstandings; but through it all, the eternal love of God will overshadow where both of you lack.
In this wedding season, where smiles and celebrations seem to be flaunted and plastered in every direction, I think about those of you who are struggling in your singleness, searching for meaning, relationships and fulfillment. I promise you, none of those things will exist outside of Christ. If you want someone to share your heart with, start with Jesus. Invest in a love relationship with Him, first, and allow Him to mold your heart in preparation for the one that He has created for you. In this way, you will find meaning, fulfillment and purpose that you will be able to share with that someone special.
While you are waiting, wait for the Lord. Share your heart with Jesus! Tell Him about your anxiousness, disappointments, sadness and expectations. Pray that He begin to prepare your heart and create within you a love that is stronger in giving than it is in receiving. Ask for discernment to recognize the one that God will place in your path and pray for a spirit of contentment in your waiting process. Finally, pray for your husband as well. Not just that he will come, but that he will be strong in the Lord. Pray for his family and his friends. Pray over his finances and his future. Cover his struggles and temptations in prayer (because believe me, he will have them!). Pray over his exams in school and over his accomplishments. Ask God to prepare His heart for you, as He prepares your heart for him and I promise, "Mr. Man" may not show up the next day, but those prayers will not go out in vain!
Pray without ceasing... Pray for love!
~Pearls
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