Argue in the name of Love

Last week, my husband and I were headed down the road towards a pretty unfriendly disagreement. I must admit that it was completely my fault. I over reacted (like usual). I spoke too soon (like usual). I failed to consider all of the facts (like usual).

In my close circle of friends, which pretty much consists of all of the members of Pearls of Hope, we have developed, for the most part, a pretty telepathic form of communication. We can read each other's emotions and do a pretty good job of interpreting the body language of another woman. We understand the meaning of a sigh, or the teary eyed look from a friend. But I have to admit, it never dawned on me that this form of communication was/is foreign to my husband, and many men for that matter.

During our argument, I was waiting for him to interpret my body language, perceive my unspoken thoughts through my tears and gestures. I was hoping for his "AHA" moment to happen, without my use of words or verbal expressions of my feelings; yet when I did not receive an indication that he understood me, I began to become frustrated and, let's just say that the scripture "slow to speak" was no longer resonating in my thoughts. Thankfully, the Lord, in His tender kindness, has a way of stepping in and calming the storms of our hearts. Because Jesus is our center, we were able to lovingly resolve the tensions and misunderstandings, before any ship wrecks occurred!

Ladies, although I am only still a newly wed, I want to empress upon you the importance of being vulnerable within your relationships. Our husbands, boyfriends, friends, families- they are not mind readers. Jesus is the only one who can peer into the crevices of our hearts; it's foolish to expect another person to preform a task that we ourselves are not capable of doing. There is nothing wrong with arguments; in fact, conflict is needed to allow a relationship to grow. Healthy conflict will result in you learning more about yourself and your loved one. It brings out our true nature, flaws, weaknesses and strengths- all of which is necessary to be exposed, if we are desiring to build an honest and open relationship with someone. But we have to be willing to expose ourselves if we expect to gain the trust and confidence of the other person, in order for them to do the same with us.

Below is an article from Relevant Magazine. I thought it might be helpful for those of you who need a little lesson on arguing in a healthy and loving manner. It's focus in on marriage, but really, the information can be applied to any relationship. I hope this will help you and encourage you in your journey with Jesus.

Remember, our Lord is a relational God. He wants us to build and grow in His grace and share His love with others.

Be honest, be kind and be blessed!

~Pearls
RELEVANT MAGAZINE: 8-things-every-healthy-marriage-has